The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
A group of developers has filed a small-business loan application to develop a Jazz music club in the city of Monroe based on the prediction that it will be a lucrative business model since the residents of Monroe regularly enjoy Jazz music and the closest Jazz club is 65 miles away from the city. However, this proposal for loan approval lacks concrete support, and a seemingly cursory approach has been employed in reaching conclusions. A battery of questions must be answered before the loan application is evaluated for approval.
Firstly, is a nationwide study of Jazz enthusiasts comparable to the enthusiasts residing in the city of Monroe? In other words, can a national survey be used to generalize the interests of the residents living in a city? The advocates of the Jazz club are taking giant leaps in making assumptions that the study would also apply to the people of Monroe, who relish Jazz and will spend thousands of dollars every year on Jazz entertainment. If the above-stated question has any merit, then it would significantly weaken the argument made in the proposal.
Second, the advocates mention that over 100,000 people attended last summer's annual jazz festival. This broad argument requests yet another question that must be answered. Is the data gathered from just one year sufficient to extrapolate the success of opening a Jazz club? The data does not explicitly mention what percentage of people in attendance at the festival were residents of Monroe. Therefore, this attempt of the argument to establish the popularity of Jazz among the residents of Monroe is rendered feeble.
Lastly, Why spend money when you can get it for free? One could potentially argue that it would be counterproductive to build a jazz club since people could conveniently listen to Jazz music over the radio every night from their homes. This would fulfill their keen musical interests and prevent them from spending money in the club. If the above assumption is valid and practical, the advocacy of the argument will not hold any water.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, due to several unanswered assumptions, is flawed. More penetrating data regarding the extent to which Jazz music is enjoyed and the intentions of using the club regularly by city residents must be evaluated before sanctioning a loan for the Jazz club.
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| 2023-08-23 | dhruv7315 | 78 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1924 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.78 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.568 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, thus, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1972.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06940874036 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8378599842 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516709511568 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 612.9 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.0098171768 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.555555556 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6111111111 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.55555555556 5.70786347227 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384011197719 0.218282227539 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104560759254 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120308867883 0.0701772020484 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226558585414 0.128457276422 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117484547592 0.0628817314937 187% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.