While it might seem logical, at first glance, to agree with the conclusion given by the group of developers in the loan application that Jazz is extremely popular in the city of Monroe (and perhaps, by implication, that investing in a jazz club would be profitable), the group's argument does not make a cogent case. Their reasoning to arrive at the conclusion basing on the popularity of Jazz in Monroe and the ability of a jazz fan to spend a lot of money , may have sounded rational and probable, but their argument is rife with holes and assumptions. Before thinking about getting a loan, the group should consider all latent factors.
First of all, the group cites the example of many people attending Monroe's annual jazz festival to support the claim that there are many jazz fans in the city. This claim is based on the assumption that if many people attend a yearly jazz festival in the city, there are lot of fans in the city. It can be possible that lot of the festival's attendees are travelling from far to enjoy the festival and so, less fans with in the city. Also, it might be possible that every one attending the festival, are not interested in joing to a jazz club, because most of them might have attends the festival just to see their favorite celebrities. If the above situations have merit, the examples cited by the group cannot be used to claim the popularity of jazz in the city, and thus the group's argument is significantly weakend.
Furthermore, the group states that the nearest jazz club is one hour away, to imply that a jazz club in the city of Monroe would be profitable. But here, the group assumed that they can easily compete against the already existing club which is an hour away. May be it is possible that the existing club might have established itslef with a very popular jazz environment and the city residents would easily afford an hour of time just to go to that club. If that is the case, the group's argument fails to address this assumption.
Fianlly, the group assumed that a fans would be willing to spend as much money as what a natio-wide study reported. The study might have considered wealthiest cities in the country and the estimation might not scale well to the city of Monroe. Also, the developers might have used this spending estimation against the cost of building a club while calculating profits. If the above assumption fails, the developers will be rather in loss if they invest in the club.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its rerliance on several unwarranted assumptions. Unless the group substantiates their assumptions, the argument remains unconvincing.
- The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the 72
- Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs only apartment buildings that is buildings without elevators live an average of three years longer than do people who 82
- Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe over 100 000 people attended Monroe s annual jazz festival last summer and the highest rated radio program in Monroe is Jazz Nightly which airs every weeknight Also a number of well known jazz 73
- Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state even if these areas could be developed for economic gain Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2156 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.637 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.032 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 270, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'groups'' or 'group's'?
Suggestion: groups'; group's
...in a jazz club would be profitable, the groups argument does not make a cogent case. T...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 455, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ty of a jazz fan to spend a lot of money , may have sounded rational and probable,...
^^
Line 4, column 406, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun fans is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... from far to enjoy the festival and so, less fans with in the city. Also, it might b...
^^^^
Line 4, column 778, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'groups'' or 'group's'?
Suggestion: groups'; group's
...arity of jazz in the city, and thus the groups argument is significantly weakend. F...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 259, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: Maybe
...dy existing club which is an hour away. May be it is possible that the existing club m...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 480, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'groups'' or 'group's'?
Suggestion: groups'; group's
... to that club. If that is the case, the groups argument fails to address this assumpti...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 33, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a fan' or simply 'fans'?
Suggestion: a fan; fans
...ion. Fianlly, the group assumed that a fans would be willing to spend as much money...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 138, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'considered the wealthiest'.
Suggestion: considered the wealthiest
...de study reported. The study might have considered wealthiest cities in the country and the estimatio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, so, thus, well, while, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2216.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 465.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76559139785 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62762960917 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440860215054 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 686.7 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.7744170432 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.111111111 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8333333333 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252176659869 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0844075537773 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0925278581504 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131705883156 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.099815863246 0.0628817314937 159% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 29.0 12.3882235529 234% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.