In the memo, the owner of a chain of cheese stores in USA recommended that they should concentrate fully on domestic cheese and discontinue stocking varieties of imported cheese in order to improve profits. He came down to this conclusion from two reasons. One is that all of the top selling cheese varieties in one of his stores are all domestic. Another is that a magazine published a survey which shows increased popularity of domestic cheese. However his recommendation needs the articulation of some evidences about the points, he made in its support.
First of all, what are the top selling cheese varieties at his stores other than the newest one? He only mentioned about the top five best selling cheeses at his newest store. What are the circumstances in his stores other than that? The newest store may be located in a neighbprhood where people prefer domestic cheese varieties. This may not be the case for other store locations. The full picture of the demand of the customers is needed to comment if the imported cheeses have become unpopular or not. Relying on the data of one particular store may lead to wrong conclusions.
Secondly, are the people participating in the magazine's survey same as the target customers of his chain of stores? The magazine may survey people from few certain groups who are not the customers of the chain of stores, we are concerned about. Firstly, we need to know if the survey was done scientifically. Even if it was done following the correct method, the demands of the particular group of customers the chain have, may differ significantly. In that case, dismissing the continuity of imported cheese may hurt its business.
Thirdly, are the cost of stocking domestic cheeses less than what it is for imported cheeses? The cost of the two types of cheeses are not mentioned. It may be cheap to import bulk amount of cheeses. The imported cheeses may also be cheaper than domestic ones if they are easy to produce or if their quality is different. Other factors such as the supply chain, preserving conditions may also make the domestic ones more expensive. Commenting without calculating the total costs concerned with both types of cheeses is totally unwarranted. We cannot simply assume that limiting inventory with domestic cheeses would improve the profits.
Though it may seem that the owner of cheese stores here has solid basis for his recommendation, articulation is needed
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 1982 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.846 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.659 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.52 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 270, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...onclusion from two reasons. One is that all of the top selling cheese varieties in one of ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 448, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ncreased popularity of domestic cheese. However his recommendation needs the articulati...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2035.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97555012225 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74511485617 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479217603912 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 642.6 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.3400407688 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.4 119.503703932 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.36 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372046415788 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113202372245 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0890782460644 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215414279369 0.128457276422 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0921435820723 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.3799401198 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.