Whereas students' demand can be a significant thing to consider for the educators, it is also important to offer what the students truely need to learn for a better future of themselves and the nation. The prompt mentions the consideration of the educators about what the students want in the curriculum and then offering it to them. I mostly disagree with the statement for a number of reasons.
First of all, students are still "students", who are yet to get education to be better and more considerate humans. What they want in the curriculum can be influenced by their age and level of maturity. So, what they think about including in the curriculum will not always be the right things for them. The nation might need other different things for the students to learn in order for its development. Perhaps, some studies which are required for the welfare of the nation or the students' personal lives may deemed uninteresting by the students and they may want to exclude those. On the contrary, educators are experts in this field. Their maturity cannot be doubted. As a result, things they consider important to be included in the curriculum and extents they determine, are likely to be better for the students. For example, students who have not entered high school or on a very early level of education may want sex education to included in their curriculum to the extent which is not right for their age. This can be stemmed from their sheer curiosity to know things that are not suitable for their age. On the other hand, educators will know the right extents of different areas of subjects that need to be taught based on their experience and research findings. So, things are much less likely to go wrong when they are free to determine what the curriculum should provide.
Secondly, students from different backgrounds or having different interests would want significantly different things to be included in the curriculum. Educators may get perplexed by the variety of demands given by the students. For instance, A student living in the urban area may not be interested in learning agriculture whereas it is important for a student living in the rural area. A student who is more inclined towards science may not want to learn things related to business and literature but some level of knowledge in those fields are required by everyone. So, educators should not simply collect data about what students want and make the curriculum a collection of haphazardly organized various things. Rather they should design it in the way according to real research, experience and insights from the field of pedagogy.
The importance to know what students' want in their curriculum cannot be doubted. The areas which are ubiquitously wanted should be emphasized when designing the curriculum. Although this aspect should be considered, it cannot be blindly followed by the educators.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 718, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...f haphazardly organized various things. Rather they should design it in the way accord...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, whereas, for example, for instance, as a result, first of all, on the contrary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.4196629213 193% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 58.6224719101 111% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2422.0 2235.4752809 108% => OK
No of words: 483.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01449275362 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80449895538 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 215.323595506 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.422360248447 0.4932671777 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 746.1 704.065955056 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6458090294 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.916666667 118.986275619 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.125 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.625 5.21951772744 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227421306201 0.243740707755 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821098063961 0.0831039109588 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0570243841323 0.0758088955206 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168588042159 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0402438128305 0.0667264976115 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 100.480337079 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.