"In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham."
According to the conclusion of this editorial, Rockingham's century-old town hall being replaced by a larger and more energy efficient building would save a considerable amount of money but the evidence provided by him is not convincing.
The first evidence mentioned is that the old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. Although the point stated is partially true that is the new town hall could accommodate more people but there is no correlation between the two parts of the statement i.e between the size of the town hall and the number of people employed by the town.
Furthermore, he states the evidence for a more efficient new building that it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer, whereas in the larger building it would cost less per square foot but he forgot to notice that the larger building would have a bigger square foot and hence result in a costlier net amount.
He also mentions that it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham but there is a loophole in this statement as it is possible to rent out some of the space of the old building too which has been ignored.
Although there is no doubt that a new hall would benefit the town, the author has failed to mention sufficient evidence for the same.
Hence, the author has to collect more information about the old building. The author must search for some solid evidence. He should do a complete and detailed study of comparing the cost-effectiveness of both the options including the initial cost of setting up the new building and replacing the old heating system in the old building. The author has to work towards making his editorial logically more correct.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 320 350
No. of Characters: 1469 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.591 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.978 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.433 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.737 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 70, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...idence for a more efficient new building that it is very costly to heat the old ...
^^
Line 5, column 76, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... for a more efficient new building that it is very costly to heat the old hall i...
^^
Line 7, column 56, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...s that it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby gene...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 220, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...statement as it is possible to rent out some of the space of the old building too which has...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, so, whereas, as to, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1505.0 2260.96107784 67% => OK
No of words: 319.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71786833856 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22617688928 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6368910196 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.467084639498 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 461.7 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 94.1851368317 57.8364921388 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.5 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.9 23.324526521 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.394167055137 0.218282227539 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.154463443505 0.0743258471296 208% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.116804632828 0.0701772020484 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204736930827 0.128457276422 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.118506776084 0.0628817314937 188% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.93 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.69 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.