"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the

Essay topics:

"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."

The major concern for the business manager here is declining revenue. According to the manager the decline is caused by the type of program the television station hosts - national news. To increase revenue again relative to the past, the manager then concludes on the need to need to increase weather and local news broadcast. This conlusion will weakened if

(1) The declining revenue is due to ther factors beyond the TV shows e.g. advertising revenue might be shifting to the internet.

(2) If the viewers who have given feedback are not representative of the population, the remaining revenue might be erroded from their coffers.

Let me stresss this points futher.

Firstly, declining revenue can be due to a number of factors beyond the kind of TV shows the station broadcasts. While there might be correlation between viewers concerns and the declining revenue, it would be wrong to conclude causation. Other reasons that might be responsible include advert on the internet, advert on other media piece, general decline in advertisement spending of the clients and more. To strenghten the conclusion, the manager will need to establish the readiness of the clients to spend more if TV viewership increases.

Secondly, the manager only mentioned concerns of viewers. It may not be a good business decision to base the strategy of the business on the premise of a couple of concerns raised by viewers except such viewers are representative of the entire population of the station. If decision is made on this premise, the remaining advertising revenue may be erroded. This will be the case if the majority of the viewers still prefer national news to other options and it is only the minority that are concerned.

In conclusion, the manager is right to be concerned about declining revenue but may be wrong to base his/her strategy on the erstwhile premises. To have a strong conclusion the major issues of whether advertisement revenue is being directed to other media space and not to other television station will need to be addressed. Two, whether the number of the viewers making thier concerns known is sufficient to make conclusion for the viewership population. Answers to these issues will help strenthen or weaken the conlusion and hence forge a way forward.

Votes
Average: 5.9 (3 votes)
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Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'need to'.
Suggestion: need to
...past, the manager then concludes on the need to need to increase weather and local news broadca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'weaken'
Suggestion: weaken
...cal news broadcast. This conlusion will weakened if 1 The declining revenue is due to ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, e.g., first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, in conclusion, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1918.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 375.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11466666667 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79904513887 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.0515051858 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.555555556 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8333333333 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94444444444 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0438425596901 0.218282227539 20% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.016557056841 0.0743258471296 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0210243180792 0.0701772020484 30% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0236577076928 0.128457276422 18% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.014103060665 0.0628817314937 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1857 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.71 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.141 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.597 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5