Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The given argument is an advertising gimmick in order to attract more children to the Ballet Schools, and like a lot of advertisements, it has only given a very superficial overview of the Ballet School, without supporting it's claims in any manner. That being said, the authors of the argument conclude that the 'Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child'. They have based their conclusion on a variety of premise and assumptions, which without any evidence or supporting data are highly unconvincing.
To begin with, the first and the foremost assumption made by the authors is that people who may have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies make the best teachers. Some of the desired qualities in a teacher is the ability to be empathetic, to sympathize, the ability to not be irritated easily and the ability to actually teach or convey whatever one knows in a relatively simple yet deep manner, to someone who doesn't even understand the basics of that field. And while working with the most prestigious ballet companies may make them consummate dancers, it hardly ensures that such people will make the best teachers. In order to strengthen their claim, the authors should have told us about what is it in the people who work at the school that makes them competent teachers, are they extremely good at conveying the essence of ballet to children, or do they make sure that no child feels left out and learns to perform at the apotheosis of his or her capacity.
Moving on, to state that students have gone on to become professional dancers at top dance companies barely shows that the ballet school honed the dancers and it just wasn't their innate talent which lead them to success. To make the claim more substantial, the company should have provided data on how many people were enrolled in their programs, for how long they were enrolled, just how much did they improve and finally, how many of them went on to become professionals in top dance companies. Without such data, their statement regarding the success of students hardly holds any value and is barely convincing. Had the company showed that those students who went on to become professionals solely relied on this particular school for training and it was the teachers at this school who motivated them to become professionals in ballet and it was the training imparted at Pirouettes, which ensured their success, then we may have been more sure about the credentials of the school.
Expounding more on the above point, often the true success of schools lies not in honing the talents of those children who had a natural and superior ability in the art, but it is often in encouraging and motivating average students to perform their best and making them improve through their program. From what has been stated in the argument, there is no proof that the school is the clear choice for 'any' child who wants to learn ballet - whether they are innately talented for it or are average but willing to work hard towards it.
To conclude, the argument made by the authors of the given paragraph is strife with holes and assumptions due to which, they haven't been able to make a coget case for the Pirouettes Ballet School. Had the authors showed the competency of the teachers rather than just stating their achievements, the argument would have had some support. Also, the authors must have supported claims of students who went on to become professionals with data on how many people ultimately in a batch became professionals, on the role that the ballet school had in their success and also on whether such students improved throughout their time spent in the school, honing their skills, and going from avaerage to extremely competent dancers.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
| 2019-12-17 | srujanakeerthi | 77 | view |
| 2019-12-15 | Chayank_11 | 33 | view |
| 2019-12-05 | Opak Pulu | 69 | view |
| 2019-11-05 | Prudhvi6054 | 79 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. need to argue:
Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child.
Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program,
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 641 350
No. of Characters: 3047 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.032 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.754 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.51 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 214 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.453 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...allet companies make the best teachers. Some of the desired qualities in a teacher is the a...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... simple yet deep manner, to someone who doesnt even understand the basics of that fiel...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...et school honed the dancers and it just wasnt their innate talent which lead them to ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 126, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...oles and assumptions due to which, they havent been able to make a coget case for the ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, may, regarding, so, then, while, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 11.1786427146 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 96.0 55.5748502994 173% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3110.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 638.0 441.139720559 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87460815047 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02579962599 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5907733221 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437304075235 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 948.6 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 39.0 22.8473053892 171% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.5874689645 57.8364921388 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 194.375 119.503703932 163% => OK
Words per sentence: 39.875 23.324526521 171% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4375 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282615217124 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112459185553 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688551326708 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171465918723 0.128457276422 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0292563126298 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.4 14.3799401198 149% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.35 48.3550499002 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.3 12.197005988 142% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.56 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.6 11.1389221557 158% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.