Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
The author contends that " Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid, also the observation centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well", he contends, the interview centered method that his team of gradualte students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child rearing traditions there and in other cultures. To support his argument, he cites various evidences such as interviews with children living in the group of islands that inlcudes Tertia. Although, these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. In order to make the argument more sound, the author need to cite the following especific evidences.
1) The 20 years is huge time period, the society may had changed since then.
2) Even if they talk more about their biological parents, how the author can come into the conclusion that Dr. Field's observations were wrong.
3)The authenticity of the research done by his team of graduate students.
As we know, in order to change the society, 20 years time period is enough, Dr. Field's observations were conducted 20 years ago, the conclusion he made 20 years ago may not be true in 20 years later, however it doesn't mean his observation centered approach were invalid.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 561, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lcudes Tertia. Although, these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticu...
^^^
Line 6, column 212, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t be true in 20 years later, however it doesnt mean his observation centered approach ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, then, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 55.5748502994 41% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1098.0 2260.96107784 49% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 211.0 441.139720559 48% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20379146919 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.81127787577 4.56307096286 84% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75185319941 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.63981042654 0.468620217663 137% => OK
syllable_count: 331.2 705.55239521 47% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 106.417735247 57.8364921388 184% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.25 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.375 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.875 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236811769489 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832661378264 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0716245367217 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103386202285 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0620800579326 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.57 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 561, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lcudes Tertia. Although, these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticu...
^^^
Line 6, column 212, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t be true in 20 years later, however it doesnt mean his observation centered approach ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, then, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 55.5748502994 41% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1098.0 2260.96107784 49% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 211.0 441.139720559 48% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20379146919 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.81127787577 4.56307096286 84% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75185319941 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.63981042654 0.468620217663 137% => OK
syllable_count: 331.2 705.55239521 47% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 106.417735247 57.8364921388 184% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.25 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.375 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.875 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236811769489 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832661378264 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0716245367217 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103386202285 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0620800579326 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.57 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.