The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The argument that Monarch books opening a café will allow it to attract more customers and better compete with regal books is not well convinced in the argument, it is having many flaws and assumptions which are not supported.
Firstly it is said that Regal books opened the café and that doesn’t mean opening a café just to compete with them is not a good idea because the location where it opened its café is not mentioned by the author. The area which they opened may be suitable place for café and the same may not work out with Monarch books. If the author mentions the location, type of environment there and other factors he may come to the more near conclusion.
Secondly, the author made the false analogy with books and café that as the customers are accepting their books doesn’t mean that they will accept their café also. If the author consider take this into account with some other factors it would be more appropriate. The author said in the given argument that percentage of population of children decreased he didn’t mention the exact statistical details of the figures it might be some un significant number which doesn’t make any reasonable affect in the sales of books for children under ten. Moreover it is said that discontinuing the children’s section and opening a café in that place only which creates fuss in that area and people who came will not find it as a peaceful place and they might not feel comfortable to come there.
The author also drawn a false conclusion that an area which is suitable for buying books is the same as the place to open a café. Author should consider the location also into account because there may be more students in that area who prefer to buy books than going for a place to eat.
Therefore, the argument mentioned above is flawed with many assumptions. If the author considers all the other factors into consideration he might have come to a more cogent conclusion.
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Sentence: The author said in the given argument that percentage of population of children decreased he didn't mention the exact statistical details of the figures it might be some un significant number which doesn't make any reasonable affect in the sales of books for children under ten.
Description: The word affect is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to affect , did you mean effect
flaws:
Not organized well.
Argument against 1: No evidence to prove that 'Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.'
Argument against 2: 'decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. ' doesn't mean the books for children under age ten will decline too.
Argument against 3: No information about 'Regal Books'. Maybe it targets different customers.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1564 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.533 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.358 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.533 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.66 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5