People’s attitudes are determined by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Society or an individual environment, which one influence more to a person’s attitude? For example, when a person who is a heavy drinker, is it because he is living in a society where drinking is common in its culture or because his close friends often drink? The prompt says people’s attitudes are more decided by the immediate surroundings rather than the bigger society as a whole. This sounds plausible, however, it is not necessarily true.
Admittedly, immediate surrounding can become very influential in shaping one’s daily lives. When one experience things in a direct experience, it is much more powerful to arouse some feelings and thoughts within the person. For instance, when the parents or your close friends are interested in Indie music, there is a high possibility that you might try some songs and have a positive opinion about Indie music, even though that is not the mainstream of musical category in the society. Besides, if one person is raised in the black family, he or she will be more interested in the issue of black history in the United States. Therefore, the decision of individual preference or interest can be determined mainly by immediate surroundings.
However, in making harder and important decisions, people’s attitudes are more influenced by the society as a whole, specifically by social norms. For example, compared to the college enrollment rate of OECD countries, Korea shows distinctively higher figures in enrollment and graduation of colleges. However, those who go for the doctoral studies is much lower than the average among OECD countries. This is because people in South Korea chose to go to college since, without the college degree, people cannot get a decent job. Therefore, students study hard to go to a good school. Even students who cannot afford to pay for tuition fee, they will think student loan positively to get the degree, which was required in the society. That is, the attitude about college degree was determined by the society which regards it as necessary.
Furthermore, due to the growing influence of media in the society, people began to take more consideration of society’s norms. This is because the media has spread and become common in every household. For instance, we are kept watching and hearing the news on the TV and newspapers that fast foods are detrimental to people’s health and the frequent consumption of them can occur even disease due to malnutrition and high calories. People try to avoid eating fast foods because they are bad for their health. Therefore, people are more influenced by the society due to the growing influence of media.
In sum, people’s attitudes are more determined by individual surroundings and society than immediate surroundings. This is because when people make important decisions, social norms function as crucial standards and as the generalization of media, people can easily approach the news in the society.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
which one influence more to a person’s attitude
which one influences more to a person’s attitude
flaws:
Better to change the writing styles. currently, the style is:
introduction
admittedly, support A
however, support B
support B again
conclusion
a better style is to support one side always:
introduction
admittedly, some good situations for A, still we support B
support B again
support B again
support B again (optional)
conclusion
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for example, you wrote:
For instance, when the parents or your close friends are interested in Indie music, there is a high possibility that you might try some songs and have a positive opinion about Indie music, even though that is not the mainstream of musical category in the society.
we need to argue more to still support B, like:
1. we may have a negtive opinion about Indie music once we grow up with more education
2. we may have a negtive opinion about Indie music once we move to a new city or new area or new country where Indie music is illegal
3. we may have a negtive opinion about Indie music because of some people. for example, a person whom we are going to get married hates Indie music
4. we may have a negtive opinion about Indie music after we joined a music group who likes only classical music
even more...
by this style, we can make the arguments stronger.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2393 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.724 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 33.0505617978 76% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2503.0 2235.4752809 112% => OK
No of words: 479.0 442.535393258 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2254697286 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95330146295 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488517745303 0.4932671777 99% => OK
syllable_count: 794.7 704.065955056 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1969655429 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.826086957 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8260869565 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.26086956522 5.21951772744 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.334335411118 0.243740707755 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106567469635 0.0831039109588 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.141291522926 0.0758088955206 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.206381120332 0.150359130593 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0995061281771 0.0667264976115 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.