The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport
The line graph compares the amount of goods transported through four types of transport in UK from 1974 to 2002. Overall, most goods were transported through road, while pipeline had been used the least.
The figure for the road transport saw an increasing trend over the entire period, rising from around 70 million tonnes to the peak of 98 million tonnes. It was noticeable that a dip was showed in the year of 1996.
As for the road and rail transports, who delivered similar amount of goods in the first four-year period, at approximately 40 million tonnes. From this point onward, the figure for goods transported by water rose to just under 60 million tonnes, followed by a flat trend until 1994, after which it dropped to about 50 million tonnes. However, it can clearly be seen that the figure recovered afterwards. By contrast less amount of goods were sent via railway after 1974, the number of which hovering around 23 million tonnes between the years of 1978 and 1994, before it climbed back to the same level as in 1974 by 2002.
Next comes Pipeline, it showed an upward trend, rising from 5 million tonnes to just above 20 million tonnes over the entire period.
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It was noticeable that a dip was showed in the year of 1996.
Description: there is a drop in 1980 too
As for the road and rail transports
As for the water and rail transports
Sentence: By contrast less amount of goods were sent via railway after 1974, the number of which hovering around 23 million tonnes between the years of 1978 and 1994, before it climbed back to the same level as in 1974 by 2002.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to which and hovering
flaws:
Improve the language.
read a good sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/you-should-spend-about-20-minutes-t…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 206 200
No. of Characters: 945 1000
No. of Different Words: 118 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.788 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.587 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.253 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.398 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.442 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.677 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4