You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.Write a letter to this friend. In your letter- Give details of your study plans- Explain why

Essay topics:

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.
Write a letter to this friend. In your letter
- Give details of your study plans
- Explain why you want to get a part-time job
- Suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Matt,

How are you doing? I hope everything goes well on your end since the last time we met in January last year. I am about to go to study in sydney, and I am writing to ask for your help in search of a part-time job.

I am accepted to the university of sydney, and I will go to australia to study Bachelor of Commerce in September this year. Thanks to your enthusiastic supports before my english examination taking place last month, I am entitled to enter directly to the university without the requirement for enrolling in any english courses in advance. However, as you might know, the living cost in sydney is quite expensive, and my family can only afford for the tuition fee; therefore, I urgently need to find a part-time job during my study to cover living expenses.

you are the only friend that I know in australia so I hope that you could help me out with this issue. For instance, you can ask your friends or your colleagues if there are any temporary vacancies for server or bar staff around the city center.

I highly appreciate your fully supports. I hope you will drop me a line soon!

Love,

Vivian

Votes
Average: 6.4 (1 vote)
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Essays by user tralamdinh :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 11, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Matt, How are you doing? I hope everything goe...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...r help in search of a part-time job. I am accepted to the university of sydney...
^
Line 5, column 558, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ring my study to cover living expenses. you are the only friend that I know in a...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: You
...my study to cover living expenses. you are the only friend that I know in aust...
^^^
Line 7, column 247, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er or bar staff around the city center. I highly appreciate your fully supports....
^^^^^
Line 11, column 6, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e you will drop me a line soon! Love, Vivian
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.48453608247 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 4.92783505155 142% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 5.05154639175 99% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.03092783505 66% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 32.9175257732 100% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 26.3917525773 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.85567010309 130% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 935.0 937.175257732 100% => OK
No of words: 207.0 206.0 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.51690821256 4.54256449028 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.79308509922 3.78020617076 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52305294592 2.54303337028 99% => OK
Unique words: 122.0 127.690721649 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.589371980676 0.622605031667 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 296.1 290.88556701 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.463917525773 647% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 16.3608247423 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.4417610425 44.8134815571 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5 76.5299724578 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7 16.8248392259 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 4.34317383033 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 2.54639175258 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 7.41237113402 121% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.94845360825 25% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.353807884203 0.216113520407 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137031564796 0.0766984524023 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080035497627 0.0603063233224 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.221678635063 0.12726935374 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0872721599855 0.0580467560999 150% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 8.37731958763 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 70.7449484536 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 7.45979381443 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 8.71597938144 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.3 7.59969072165 96% => OK
difficult_words: 35.0 41.2886597938 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 8.62886597938 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 8.54432989691 117% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 64.606741573 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.75 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.