You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,- describe the situ

Essay topics:

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.

Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,

- describe the situation
- explain your problems and why it is difficult to work
- say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Cindy. I live in a accomodation in the UBC college for 2 years.

I am writing to express my annoy about my room mate. These days I suffer to mass my room from my room mate. she is not respect other person. The reason why, when she came in the room, she bring she's friends and drink all night, also she does not care about me where I am. when I want to spend time for my home work, she bring her friends everytime. So, I can not doing anything. I argue her with serveral time about this problem to solve, But I am fail.
I want to change my room mate to my relax. I want to new room mate quiet and respect other people. futhermore, I hope I want to positive person. when I lie down in my bed at that time small talk will give me relax per day.

I am looking forward your reply as soon as possible.
please let me know when I can change my room mate.

Your faithfully,
Cindy.

Votes
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)
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Essays by user ChaeWonKim :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 19, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Cindy. I live in a accomodation in ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 23, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...r or Madam, I am Cindy. I live in a accomodation in the UBC college for 2 y...
^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n in the UBC college for 2 years. I am writing to express my annoy about my...
^
Line 7, column 109, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...ffer to mass my room from my room mate. she is not respect other person. The reason...
^^^
Line 7, column 189, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'brings'.
Suggestion: brings
...son why, when she came in the room, she bring shes friends and drink all night, also ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 195, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: she's
...y, when she came in the room, she bring shes friends and drink all night, also she d...
^^^^
Line 7, column 321, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'brings'.
Suggestion: brings
...ant to spend time for my home work, she bring her friends everytime. So, I can not do...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 364, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
...ng her friends everytime. So, I can not doing anything. I argue her with serveral tim...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 44, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ant to change my room mate to my relax. I want to new room mate quiet and respect...
^
Line 8, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Futhermore
...om mate quiet and respect other people. futhermore, I hope I want to positive person. when...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 146, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...more, I hope I want to positive person. when I lie down in my bed at that time small...
^^^^
Line 8, column 146, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...more, I hope I want to positive person. when I lie down in my bed at that time small...
^^^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Please
...orward your reply as soon as possible. please let me know when I can change my room m...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, look, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 1.0 7.48453608247 13% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 4.92783505155 61% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 5.05154639175 79% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 3.03092783505 198% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 32.9175257732 122% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 19.0 26.3917525773 72% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.85567010309 26% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 741.0 937.175257732 79% => OK
No of words: 182.0 206.0 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.07142857143 4.54256449028 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.67297393991 3.78020617076 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.0852860872 2.54303337028 82% => OK
Unique words: 105.0 127.690721649 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.576923076923 0.622605031667 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 225.9 290.88556701 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.2 1.41237113402 85% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.13402061856 153% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.83505154639 163% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 12.6804123711 126% => OK
Sentence length: 11.0 16.3608247423 67% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.6867879644 44.8134815571 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 46.3125 76.5299724578 61% => OK
Words per sentence: 11.375 16.8248392259 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.1875 4.34317383033 27% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 2.54639175258 511% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 7.41237113402 121% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.49484536082 268% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.94845360825 76% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0688054391873 0.216113520407 32% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0246410087216 0.0766984524023 32% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0289976080432 0.0603063233224 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.037222085258 0.12726935374 29% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0238376378419 0.0580467560999 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 3.4 8.37731958763 41% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 94.15 70.7449484536 133% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 2.9 7.45979381443 39% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 5.14 8.71597938144 59% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 5.92 7.59969072165 78% => OK
difficult_words: 20.0 41.2886597938 48% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 4.5 8.62886597938 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.4 8.54432989691 75% => OK
text_standard: 6.0 8.15463917526 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.