In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universities studies. Discuss the advantages and dis advantages for young people who decide to do this.
Many young people choose to go to universities after high school because they recognize that knowledge is the key to success. However, some of them believe learning outside universities would be more effective and practical prior to acquiring higher level education. In my opinion, there are indeed more advantages than disadvantages to decide to work and travel.
As we all know that working is more challenging than studying in universities. Besides, work situation is mainly emphasis on communication. That means the interaction skills could be developed significantly. In addition, young people have higher ability to adapt new environment which allow them to learn from mistake quickly and tackle problems smoothly. Moreover, it is better for them to discover self-interest before going to universities. Since they may not mature enough to select the right majors or subjects by themselves, so working or traveling not only provides a good opportunity for them to find out favorite career, but also broaden their horizons. More importantly, they can develop a better personal resources for their future career path.
However, there are still some drawbacks associated with working and traveling in some degree. Traveling might be dangerous if they don’t understand the local culture and not to mention the possibility of accidents occur. Apart from this, young people might experience unfair treat or bullying due to the complicated working environment. All of these disadvantages still pose some negative effect to them. But I think these problems can be avoid through the advice and support by school and parents.
Overall, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as long as parents keep an eye on what the young people choose and school gives them some useful advice. I believe young people could gain the most of the benefits from work or travel.
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Here is the revised version.
Please advise.
It is still a wrong sentence:
It is still a wrong sentence:
work situation is mainly emphasis on communication.
work situation emphasis on communication.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
young people has higher ability
young people have higher ability
there are still some drawbacks associated with working and traveling is some degree
there are still some drawbacks associated with working and traveling in some degree
so working or traveling provide a good opportunity
so working or traveling provides a good opportunity
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Sentence Length SD: 5.826 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1487 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.218 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.801 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.765 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.826 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5