Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

Different people have different perspectives. Each person has different perspective about what the happiness is. For personal perspective, some people believe that happiness is able to reach by the economic success. Others, nevertheless, has opposed that blissful feeling is not only relying on money or success in economic but also a wider spectrum aspect. Therefore, I would argue that many factors can bring human being getting happiness in their daily life.

Admittedly, it can be argued that money as the standard of better economic for some inhabitants. With having much money, people have a chance to get their happiness with buying everything as it fulfills their fundamental needs. That is one of form of self-actualization where individuals have capabilities to get happiness fully. Thereby, it can be said that money has power to bring happiness for some people. For example, homeless gets their happiness while they have a house that share with family members, and they are able to buy meals. There are the happiness for several people. Therefore, happiness is not vogue if they have much more money to buy the goods that they are needed.

On the other hand, a person who successful in economic field becomes popular in the community is unlikely to achieve happiness because they happiness depend on money and people around them have two faced toward that is not honest to give an attention and an affection for them. For instance, Zack Malik as the well-known singer, ex-member of one direction, has many fan-bases and save numerous treasures. However, he is not being satisfy, According to BBC news he said that he is unable to feel like usual adult, he is not happy event thought he is the rich younger person that is the evidence that the popularity with having much money is not guaranteed people has a happy life. Happy life as young person and he can gather with his family that is the happiness. Therefore, money and economic success is not a measurement in happiness life, and perhaps, our life becomes worse owing to successful in economic.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that it seems successful in economic can bring happiness beside that emotional feeling is one of the happiness for each person. Where possible, I hope that human race attempts to reach their happiness even without money.

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it can be argued that money as the standard of better economic for some inhabitants.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

a house that share with family members,
a house that shares with family members,

a person who successful in economic field
a person who is successful in economic field

because they happiness depend on money
because their happiness depends on money

he is not being satisfy,
he is not being satisfied,

Where possible,
While possible,

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

More sentences varieties wanted. for example, a lot of sentences start with subject 'he'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 385 350
No. of Characters: 1893 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.43 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.917 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.62 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.442 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5