Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

Most of people believe that professional athletes have become impressive role model for young people , while others argue they don't give good impact for young people

It is believed living of a professional athletes more like living an artist with their fans. Whatever that they do always will be copied by their fanatic fans. For instance, a fans will wear anything from edge of head to foot of what an athletes wore , like : clothes, bags, even until footwear. It will lead consumerism of a fans where they usually will do anything way to buy those accessories although they have to steal for it.

On the other hand, it is convinced there is still benefits that we can get from being a fans of a professional athletes. An healthy living is one of good behaviour that we can copy it. For instance , wake up in the early morning and it then do exercise regularly will keep up our healthy. Reducing junk food as a consequence being fans will increase our body immune and without unconscious, this pattern life have forced us become a real athlete. Discipline in our body supervision is one of benefit that we can get being a fans of athletes

Furthermore, positive mindset of an athletes will teach us how to struggle in our living. An athletes in their live, always face with competition to get a victory. This is like our live,where we always fight with a lof of problems to achieve our goals.

In conclusion, although there are many bad impact that will happen if a professional athletes become our role model, I believed there are still many advantages that we can learn from athletes, for instance, discipline and struggling to achieve a purpose

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Comments

living of a professional athletes more like living an artist with their fans
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?

there is still benefits
there are still benefits

wake up in the early morning and it then do exercise regularly will keep up our healthy
waking up in the early morning and then doing exercise regularly will keep up our healthy

this pattern life have forced us
this pattern life has forced us

although there are many bad impact
although there are many bad impacts

Sentence: This is like our live,where we always fight with a lof of problems to achieve our goals.
Error: lof Suggestion: lot

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 290 350
No. of Characters: 1327 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.576 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.54 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.468 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.629 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5