The average standard of people s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay topics:

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Submitted by esp_py on Fri, 11/13/2020 - 06:52

The average standard of people's health will decrease in the upcoming years comparing to what is now.

Different factors have affected people's health in various ways. I will totally agree with that statement by illustrating two factors which are affecting people's health now and why this trend is likely to continue in the future.

People are busier now than how they were before, as a consequence the time the spend to take care of their health was reduced in the recent years. We no longer have time to prepare healthy meals and this leads us to eating junk food in restaurants or fast foods. This habits a huge impact on our health. A research from the Havard School of Medical Science and Wellbeing discovered that the more junk food we eat the more unhealthy we are likely to be.

Being busy does not only affect our wellbeing by the food we eat but also it affect it by the number of hours we spend doing physical activities. From my personal experience , I noticed that the time we spend in sport has decreased significantly in the past years and it will keep decreasing in the future. We have decided to lower our health standard by being busy and not practicing sport. We prefer riding to walking , using a lift to using stairs. As the result our health is affected by those practices.

In this writeup I agreed with the introduction statement by explaining how being busy and not having time to prepare healthy food and practicing sport is lowering our health standards and how will keep that trend in the future.

Votes
Average: 8.2 (3 votes)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 32, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The average standard of peoples health will decrease in the upcoming yea...
^^
Line 3, column 121, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gree with that statement by illustrating two factors which are affecting peoples ...
^^
Line 5, column 76, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... were before, as a consequence the time the spend to take care of their health was reduce...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...junk food in restaurants or fast foods. This habits a huge impact on our health. A r...
^^^^
Line 5, column 305, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: Research
...his habits a huge impact on our health. A research from the Havard School of Medical Scien...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 78, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'affects'?
Suggestion: affects
...ellbeing by the food we eat but also it affect it by the number of hours we spend doin...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 174, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... activities. From my personal experience , I noticed that the time we spend in spo...
^^
Line 7, column 420, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...icing sport. We prefer riding to walking , using a lift to using stairs. As the r...
^^
Line 7, column 453, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...walking , using a lift to using stairs. As the result our health is affected by th...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1269.0 1615.20841683 79% => OK
No of words: 270.0 315.596192385 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05360046442 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45851995998 2.80592935109 88% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 176.041082164 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.518518518519 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 379.8 506.74238477 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.6307894678 49.4020404114 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.6153846154 106.682146367 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7692307692 20.7667163134 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.76923076923 7.06120827912 25% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203401607119 0.244688304435 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0818766638287 0.084324248473 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590318908533 0.0667982634062 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139215067732 0.151304729494 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0402813649508 0.056905535591 71% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 13.0946893788 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 50.2224549098 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 12.4159519038 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.58950901804 93% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.