Do you think that becoming famous at a young age is a good thing or bad thing?

Essay topics:

Do you think that becoming famous at a young age is a good thing or bad thing?

To my way of thinking, becoming famous at a young age is a bad thing because of several reasons as follows.

Firstly, they cannot put up with the pressure they receive from express, their fans or anti-fans. They have to protect their private life and protect themselves from crowds.

Secondly, they can deliver a terrible speech in front of their anti-fans or netizens without thinking carefully because they are not old enough to know what is good or bad, right or wrong. It makes their image looks so bad.

Last but not least, becoming famous at a young age can make people use money from performing or acting for advertisements for dangerous purpose like drugs. Some actors who are famous at the young age cannot keep their way of life as before. They waste their money and lead to dissipation.

To put in a nutshell, becoming famous at a young age is not as wonderful as many people have thought before.

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Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
To my way of thinking, becoming famous a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cause of several reasons as follows. Firstly, they cannot put up with the pre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and protect themselves from crowds. Secondly, they can deliver a terrible sp...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... It makes their image looks so bad. Last but not least, becoming famous at a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... their money and lead to dissipation. To put in a nutshell, becoming fa...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 13.1623246493 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 24.0651302605 62% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 41.998997996 55% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 8.3376753507 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 759.0 1615.20841683 47% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 161.0 315.596192385 51% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71428571429 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.56210296601 4.20363070211 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44711038062 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 176.041082164 55% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.596273291925 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 230.4 506.74238477 45% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 16.0721442886 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8672265254 49.4020404114 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.3333333333 106.682146367 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8888888889 20.7667163134 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 7.06120827912 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.67935871743 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300857995593 0.244688304435 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.125101254832 0.084324248473 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129640670262 0.0667982634062 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188023786188 0.151304729494 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.138703572864 0.056905535591 244% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 13.0946893788 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 50.2224549098 142% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.3001002004 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.74 12.4159519038 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.03 8.58950901804 82% => OK
difficult_words: 26.0 78.4519038076 33% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.