Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay topics:

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth
than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young
people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days, celebrites are definetely a model to teenagers. When they show off their luxury life style or appearance, adolescents will try to copy them and bring problems into their life and also their families'. Thus, I believe that featuring their glamour and rich life can surely build a bad example to youngs.
Living in the wide-spread world, we can see photos on internet which posed by famous people. Some of them usually sharing the jewelries, houses or any kind of objects that are really expensive. When teenagers see the posts, they will want to imitate them and demand their parents to buy things that they cannot afford. If their parents have no ability to fulfill their desire, they will be angry and also feel their self-esteem are debased. They will also feel stress at school when they see others got the goods that celebrities use or recommend.
Famous people nowadays make up to make theirselves more attracting. However, the comestics aren't so cheap expectially the ones that have endoserments. Some of my friends like to make up, and they usually spend a huge amount of money on comestic. Undoubtly, this will be another kind of burdon on their families.
In conclusion, adolescents can always have their own model. Nomorally, they are tend to imitate the person they admire. Therefore, celebrities really need to keep their good images and settle a correct examples to young people.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 54, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... wide-spread world, we can see photos on internet which posed by famous people...
^^^^
Line 2, column 72, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., we can see photos on internet which posed by famous people. Some of them usu...
^^^^
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...more attracting. However, the comestics arent so cheap expectially the ones that have...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'tended'.
Suggestion: tended
...ve their own model. Nomorally, they are tend to imitate the person they admire. Ther...
^^^^
Line 4, column 202, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'example'?
Suggestion: example
... their good images and settle a correct examples to young people.
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, really, so, therefore, thus, in conclusion, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 24.0651302605 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 28.0 41.998997996 67% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.3376753507 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1171.0 1615.20841683 72% => OK
No of words: 236.0 315.596192385 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96186440678 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.91947592106 4.20363070211 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53955705647 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 176.041082164 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.610169491525 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 362.7 506.74238477 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.76152304609 21% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.2975951904 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.6413212886 49.4020404114 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 78.0666666667 106.682146367 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7333333333 20.7667163134 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 7.06120827912 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183959662288 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0613576673961 0.084324248473 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0572958028957 0.0667982634062 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116934123163 0.151304729494 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0218283428015 0.056905535591 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 13.0946893788 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 50.2224549098 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 11.3001002004 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 12.4159519038 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.1190380762 79% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.