In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are pos

Essay topics:

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.
What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

Individual Freedom & Merit to Personal Success

There is a relationship between equality and personal success. Personal success is more important to sustain in this world with fast pace. In my opinion, personal success is more important than equality because personal success provides an individual with a sense of freedom & makes a person self -sufficient. The explanation of abovementioned reasons are as follows.

Firstly, personal success provides an individual with a sense of freedom. When a person is successful with his or her own merit, then it gives the person freedom to achieve whatever he or she wants. For instance- I am a lawyer. When I wanted to study law, initially my family did not agree to let me study law. But when I have successfully studied law in my own merit now they are letting me to go abroad and achieve my dream to be a criminologist. To me, when I became a lawyer that was my success and when my family is letting me to go abroad and achieve my dream that’s my freedom. So, it can be safe to say that, personal success and freedom comes hand in hand.

Moreover, personal success makes a person self-sufficient. Personal success gives a person certain level of confidence and independence. For instance- After becoming lawyer, I got a job in at a Law Firm in my own merit. Now, I bear my day to day expenses by myself. I don’t ask for money from my family. Therefore, it can be said that personal success makes a person self- sufficient.

However, equality is also important. If equality does not prevail in a society, that society cannot develop in a proper manner. Although, equality is important to develop the society but personal success will develop an individual. With individual development a society cannot be developed.

To conclude, it can be said that personal success is more important than equality because personal success provides an individual with a sense of freedom & makes a person self -sufficient. To keep the pace of personal success, sound mind is a necessity. So, people must maintain the peace of their mind.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 109, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... a society, that society cannot develop in a proper manner. Although, equality is important to dev...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, for instance, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 24.0651302605 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1735.0 1615.20841683 107% => OK
No of words: 353.0 315.596192385 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91501416431 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92371743823 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 176.041082164 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.458923512748 0.561755894193 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 560.7 506.74238477 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 16.0721442886 149% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6262606642 49.4020404114 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 72.2916666667 106.682146367 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7083333333 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08333333333 7.06120827912 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.38176352705 137% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.67935871743 196% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208125834383 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773594004566 0.084324248473 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703330840249 0.0667982634062 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141837357759 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444808822343 0.056905535591 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 13.0946893788 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 50.2224549098 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 11.3001002004 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.66 12.4159519038 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.58950901804 85% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.