In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Essay topics:

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many hold that trying really hard can bring children a numerous of benefits, and make their dream come true. To some extent, I do agree with that idea, however, we cannot deny the opposite side of that situation.
On one hand, when they were born until they grow up, children are told that studying hard is the only way that can help them become a successful person in life, and that idea has been passed from generation to generation. Consequently, it comes to our notice that children today are stuck into the maelstrom of studying, which will make them stressful and exhausted eventually. From dawn till dusk, they have to learn without relaxing for a bright future. Moreover, some children might get no chance to achieve their goals due to the out-of-reach dreams. As a result, they will be depressed and totally collapsed and then become a burden for society.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that working hard can also have beneficial aspects. For instance, Facebook’s founder or Apple’s founder are setting examples for the following generation. From an office in a garage to a number of head offices all over the world, we are all amazed by their working and leading ability.
To conclude, trying hard brings children not only benefits but detrimental effects as well. Children should be encouraged to try hard, not obligated to, and they also need some time to free their mind from all kinds of stressful things such as studying or working.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (23 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: 'Many holds'.
Suggestion: Many holds
Many hold that trying really hard can bring child...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, moreover, really, so, then, well, for instance, such as, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1213.0 1615.20841683 75% => OK
No of words: 250.0 315.596192385 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.852 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97635364384 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51944438319 2.80592935109 90% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 176.041082164 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.632 0.561755894193 113% => OK
syllable_count: 365.4 506.74238477 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.5650198241 49.4020404114 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.083333333 106.682146367 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8333333333 20.7667163134 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.4166666667 7.06120827912 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270853099936 0.244688304435 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0909535334783 0.084324248473 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0661993383168 0.0667982634062 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155597484528 0.151304729494 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0817745268908 0.056905535591 144% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 13.0946893788 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 50.2224549098 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.4159519038 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.58950901804 93% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 78.4519038076 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
More content wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.