Nowadays, experts throughout both the advancement and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology
such
as mobile phones, laptops and iPad have helped to enhance and improve people’s social lives or whether the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.
To begin
, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that automation can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by its addictive nature and which can result in the population feeling more isolated from society. The central reason behind
this
is twofold,
firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps like Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through the use of these appealing and attractive mediums, family feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on these devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
, recent scientific research demonstrated that 90% of the community in their 30s spend countless hours per week on social media and similar applications to communicate with their friends via mobile devices
instead
of meeting up and spending quality time doing sport.
As a result
, it is conclusively clear that these technological advancements have decreased and diminished our real-life interactions.
On the other hand
,
although
there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. Since the popularity of technology allows the community to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers. With the accompany of convenience, the crowd can share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want,
therefore
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. Taking an extensive study by psychologists illustrated that people who work or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Consistent with lines of thinking is that businessmen are
also
undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real-time meetings using Skype, which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly. To sum up, from the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...dvent of sophisticated modern technology such as mobile phones, laptops and iPad...
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Suggestion: ,
...ly advocate the former view. To begin , there is ample, powerful, almost daily ...
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... from society. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly , the inven...
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...entral reason behind this is twofold, firstly , the invention of online socia...
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...on behind this is twofold, firstly , the invention of online social media si...
^^
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Suggestion: ,
... the ability to communicate. Secondly , dependence on these devices is built up...
^^
Line 12, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...ge a sedentary lifestyle. For example , recent scientific research demonstrated...
^^
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...te with their friends via mobile devices instead of meeting up and spending qual...
^^^
Line 16, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...quality time doing sport. As a result , it is conclusively clear that these tec...
^^
Line 18, column 19, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...-life interactions. On the other hand , although there are significant downs...
^^
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Suggestion:
...ife interactions. On the other hand , although there are significant downside...
^^^
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Suggestion: its
...ownsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. ...
^^^^
Line 21, column 229, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
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...ily with no geographical barriers. With the accompany of convenience, the crowd can share any...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 384, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ed ones whenever and wherever they want, therefore keeping a feeling of proximit...
^^^
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Suggestion:
...ines of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from t...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, as a result, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 10.4138276553 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 41.998997996 148% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2481.0 1615.20841683 154% => OK
No of words: 437.0 315.596192385 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.67734553776 5.12529762239 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01189579634 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 176.041082164 161% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.649885583524 0.561755894193 116% => OK
syllable_count: 777.6 506.74238477 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 20.2975951904 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.3027023043 49.4020404114 173% => OK
Chars per sentence: 177.214285714 106.682146367 166% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.2142857143 20.7667163134 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.42857142857 7.06120827912 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 11.0 4.38176352705 251% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 15.0 5.01903807615 299% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170759256575 0.244688304435 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0465428231358 0.084324248473 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0260125805402 0.0667982634062 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0516040498901 0.151304729494 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275830627868 0.056905535591 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.9 13.0946893788 160% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 23.09 50.2224549098 46% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.44779559118 175% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.7 11.3001002004 157% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.26 12.4159519038 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.85 8.58950901804 126% => OK
difficult_words: 157.0 78.4519038076 200% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 9.78957915832 158% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.1190380762 142% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.