1) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Sentence: Sometimes my son want some staff when he gets it he starts to discover another thing, i'm always telling him he should enjoy with whats new then he try to find something else but im always encourge him to read alot of books when he finshes them he can buy new one .
Description: The fragment son want some is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace want with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: The fragment he try to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace try with verb, past tense

Sentence: In my openion people must satisfy from anything they have even its little or small even other people have other things or larger thing if we compare with others.
Error: openion Suggestion: opinion

Sentence: Sometimes my son want some staff when he gets it he starts to discover another thing, i'm always telling him he should enjoy with whats new then he try to find something else but im always encourge him to read alot of books when he finshes them he can buy new one .
Error: alot Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: finshes Suggestion: fishes
Error: encourge Suggestion: encourage

Sentence: So i really encourge people to satisfy whats they have for two reasons first people must should enjoy with whats they have because if they don't that theykeep buy and buy without a pleasure of what they have and i think it will buld their trust by themself by not looking to others, second they should deal with whats they have as friend come in contact with it try to discover it, i remembered when i was young i asked my mom to bring me a doll when i bought it i was so happy with it i spent alot
Error: alot Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: buld Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: theykeep Suggestion: they keep
Error: encourge Suggestion: encourage
Error: themself Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: of times to play with it to talk with it i consedered it as a sister i kept it for years i did her hair i washed it i used my other staff for it then I thought to buy another thats why i said the people should satisfy whats they have to bring its benefit for them .
Error: consedered Suggestion: considered
Error: whats Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
You can't only put one paragraph. Need to to have 4-5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

or:

para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
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Try this pattern:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

An simple example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentence: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).

Read good sample essays:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 12 in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 5 15
No. of Words: 252 350
No. of Characters: 998 1500
No. of Different Words: 130 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 3.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 1.992 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 54 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 30 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 14 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 6 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 30.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.571 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.377 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5