Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
In the preceding decades, by the advent of technology, children's hobby changed dramatically. In this sophisticated world, no one can underestimate the profound impact of emergence of these technologies on children and adolescent. Some people possess the conviction that children had better adapt themselves with these technologies and use computer, cellphones and video games as much as possible. I, nonetheless, hold an alternative perspective and believe playing outsides with the friend and simpler toys would be better and bring about children impressive accomplishment and development. Further discussion on this topic can be boiled down to a couple of upcoming reasons below.
The first exquisite reason bears in mind is that allocating too much times working with different kinds of technological gadgets like computer, cell phone, and etcetera, would pose a myriad of physical and social threats. It is axiomatic that one of the most prevalent disease related to use these technologies is spine-related disease. Moreover, it also gives rise to several eyes problem due to staring too much on the screens. It also should take into account that due to be lonely during using of these gadgets, it would bring about gloomy since children do not socialize with their friends and even their family. Consequently, it gradually make them solitary. In this regard, psychological investment have demonstrated that not only do children, who devote much of their time playing video games or working with other gadgets, are susceptible to being gloomy and aggressive, but they also subject to several ailment like obesity stemming from long hours stability, weakening of insight, and also intolerable neck, and back pain. Beyond any doubt, had they prohibited too much utilizing of technology, they would not grapple with such physicals and mental health today.
The second reason that will corroborate my stand point is that a significant part of children's characteristic are forming by communicating with their peers. In fact, by companion they learn how to make a genuine friendship. Accordingly, by playing outsides with friends, they experience a roller coaster of emotions. For instance, they learn how to sympathy with others when there are some feasible injuries which is common among them; they learn how to be responsible, and how to reconcile and renew friendship when they have some discords among each other. Similarly, by commuting with friends and devising plays, they learn who to treat against some plausible dissatisfaction and how to be patient accept other's other criticism; which all are responsible for formation of children's personality. Additionally, playing with friend and toys would challenge and broaden children's mind, and induce their creativity as well. None of them would not be fulfill by relying on technology and video games.
Contemplating all the aforementioned reasons leads us to conclude that due to the several mental and physical difficulties which stem from using technology too much, and owing to the fact that a momentous part of children's personality is related to have proper communications with friends, it would be better to spend less time working with technologies and more with friends and toys, which broaden minds and stimulate creativity. It is highly recommended that parent restrict children from using too much computer, smart phone, and playing video games in order to encourage their children to spend more time playing with their peers.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 65, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...on bears in mind is that allocating too much times working with different kinds of t...
^^^^
Line 2, column 377, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'eyes'' or 'eye's'?
Suggestion: eyes'; eye's
...Moreover, it also gives rise to several eyes problem due to staring too much on the ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 645, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...heir family. Consequently, it gradually make them solitary. In this regard, psycholo...
^^^^
Line 2, column 953, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'hours'' or 'hour's'?
Suggestion: hours'; hour's
...ailment like obesity stemming from long hours stability, weakening of insight, and al...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, consequently, first, if, moreover, nonetheless, second, similarly, so, well, for instance, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 13.8261648746 217% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2951.0 1977.66487455 149% => OK
No of words: 547.0 407.700716846 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39488117002 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95019807353 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 212.727598566 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511882998172 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 889.2 618.680645161 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 94.7566401983 48.9658058833 194% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.523809524 100.406767564 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0476190476 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.80952380952 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.405579558483 0.236089414692 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119759890824 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0843020773878 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.262954756859 0.150856017488 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348541405904 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 10.9000537634 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 86.8835125448 166% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.