Certain scientific inventions or discoveries undoubtedly play significant roles in the development of society. Therefore, some people claim that governments and businesses should keep scientific discoveries a secret. However, I could hardly agree more with the statement that those discoveries should be shared with everyone because those can contribute to the improvement of people's lives. The fundamental and deeper discussions are illustrated as follows.
Sharing discoveries of new alternative sources of energy can help protect the environment. Nowadays, people rely too much on traditional carbon-based fuels, which leads to the production of industrial emissions. People might get diseases due to these emissions. For example, industrial waste water could pollute drinking water and crops and people who consume them would have stomach problems. Therefore, sharing of scientific discoveries could help popularize the use of new clean energy to solve pressing environmental problems. Taking the auto industry as an example, if some companies which own certain technologies that allow the use of new energy sources could share their discoveries with others, clean fuels can be used on more cars to reduce exhaust emission which could be beneficial for environmental protection. However, if those companies choose not to share their new technologies, environmental problems resulting from the use of traditional fuels would not be remedied right away, which could cause negative impacts on the health of future generations.
Additionally, if scientific discoveries could be shared among people from diverse backgrounds, this can greatly improve medical care especially in those developing countries. For one thing, nowadays, the high cost of medical treatment puts significant pressure on people. Sharing new medical technologies can render the treatment to become cheaper than before, thereby reducing people’s financial burdens. For another, many diseases are currently incurable in numerous developing countries and the mortality rate is extremely high. If sharing of such scientific discoveries can be carried out, then healthcare plans of first-world countries could be popularized which might help millions of patients. It can significantly decrease the death rate in developing countries which can further bring about benefits to social stability. By contrast, if governments of first-world countries keep medical discoveries a secret, the society of those developing countries might become chaotic due to having a relatively high death rate, and, in worse situations, could even lead to wars.
To sum up, it is much better to share scientific discoveries worldwide instead of keeping them a secret. Sharing of these discoveries will not only be beneficial to environmental protection, but will also help in the improvement of medical care.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this can' or 'those cans'?
Suggestion: this can; those cans
... should be shared with everyone because those can contribute to the improvement of people...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, then, therefore, for example, for one thing, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 9.8082437276 265% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 43.0788530466 42% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2445.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.80760095012 4.8611393121 119% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10789969521 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522565320665 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 747.0 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3296721717 48.9658058833 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.25 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.05 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202002791529 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643956803519 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0643838546868 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147192282182 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0771323885719 0.0645574589148 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 11.7677419355 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 58.1214874552 57% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.42 10.9000537634 151% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 86.8835125448 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 10.247311828 166% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.