Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Older teenagers (16-19) should be allowed to work at paid part-time jobs
Throughout history, a job has played a prominent role in all societies. Because it is a paramount importance, most people tend to work when they become an adult. A controversial question which is often raised this idea is whether young children (16-19) ought to be permitted to do a part-time career or not. I personally contend that children have more foremost duties rather than do part-time jobs; therefore, I disagree with this proposal. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.
The first factor to be mentioned is that the age between 16 to 19 has a crucial role in children's life. To elaborate on my point, teenagers have important duties such as finishing high school and entering a university. In other words, in the last year of a high school, students had to study hard for attaining high grades. So, owing to having a high range of GPA, students can go to a high rank of university. Furthermore, when children will start a university, they will face the new environment and situation so that they must study as hard as they can. Hence, they will not have time to do a job. Also, if students have a high-grade GPA at the university, they would find an adequate job easily. In contrast, if the teenagers spend much time at work, they cannot consume adequate times on their lessons. Indeed, they would not finish a high school with a high-grade GPA; thus, they would not enrol in a high-rank university.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that a workplace is rough for teenagers. To shed more light on this matter, children between 16 to 19 years old have a sensitive mood and characters so that it is perilous for them to do some jobs. In other word, when teenagers start to work in many places, the manager does not have merits behaviour with them. Because teenagers do not have any work background so that they would make mistake at work. In this situation, most teenagers become a depression. I believe that children in this age do not have the ability to analyse a situation of society. Therefore, they may not become a successful person at work so that they become a depression person.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that teenagers do not do part-time jobs. I believe that not only teenager must spend many times for their lessons but also they not prepare for entering society as an employee.
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- TPO-33 - Integrated Writing Task 85
- TPO 22 70
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, thus, in contrast, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1999.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73696682464 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70062867712 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497630331754 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.5285725427 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 86.9130434783 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.347826087 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52173913043 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227162088432 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738172869964 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605511900404 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157985377441 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0424613026341 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 11.7677419355 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.