Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The influencer can be danger. I agree with the statement that opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in this essay.
First of all, I believe that younger people, like that lives around the sport’s life have admiration to athletes because they have seen all development of new athletes and they have a dream of to be equal. A personal example I have to illustrate this point is about I am a volleyball player and I have seen all development of a voleyball player of my country, call Sheilla. I watch all players her, I see her personal life on social web and I want be very good like her in a volleyball. I have seen that she influencer me with her perfomance like athlete.
In the second place, some people could disagree with me, but I am inclined to believe that with the advence of internet, the younger people have more pratic in acess to web than older people, besides, teenager are more present in social web than older people, so they are a intense acess to live of celebrities, and sometimes, this can be bad. For instance, I remember when my sister was watched a channel of a youtuber and she wanted be like the youtuber, moreover she to do all that the youtuber did. This was bad to my sister because she does not had a her own style of life and her own opinion.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more importante to younger people than they are to older people. This is because teenagers have more presente in social web and to Young people are watched the development of new athletes and they have an admiration.
- Independent Task from Toefl Sampler 3
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. 60
- TPO 18 Independent Writing Task 22
- TPO-12 - Independent Writing Task 3
- TPO-03 - Integrated Writing Task Rembrandt is the most famous of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters. However, there are doubts whether some paintings attributed to Rembrandt were actually painted by him. One such painting is known as attributed to Rem 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 562, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er me with her perfomance like athlete. In the second place, some people could d...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...acess to web than older people, besides, teenager are more present in social web ...
^^
Line 5, column 274, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...cial web than older people, so they are a intense acess to live of celebrities, a...
^
Line 5, column 552, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...s bad to my sister because she does not had a her own style of life and her own opi...
^^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'a' or 'her'?
Suggestion: a; her
...d to my sister because she does not had a her own style of life and her own opinion. ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, if, moreover, second, so, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in the second place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1454.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 317.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58675078864 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66338360665 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 138.0 212.727598566 65% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.435331230284 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 470.7 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.0279486427 48.9658058833 161% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.166666667 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4166666667 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.5 5.45110844103 193% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282452430593 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131072050004 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.203161270203 0.0737576698707 275% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.232076703422 0.150856017488 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.12694251281 0.0645574589148 197% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.