Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
“everyone needs privacy to keep himself or herself in a safe situation” Tara Westover, Educated, 2018. Although some people believe that famous entertainers or athletes deserve more privacy than they have now, others repudiate the idea. As far as I am concerned, everyone needs privacy because of the security concerns, media’s misuses, and better people’s judgments. In the following, I am inclined to put forth some arguments to support the position.
First and foremost, less paying attention to the people’s private lives reduces the crime rates as well as increases such people’s guaranteed security. For example, there are various complains about the misusing, phishing, or even threating the celebrities’ lives which are applied by felons. Indeed, such culprits threat others’ lives because they think, by revealing the private events of celebrities they can achieve money or being famous. Therefore, paying much attention to celebrities’ private live expands the crime rates.
Another thing coming to the mind is that media’s covering disparate news about the celebrities’ lives from different points of view is a good way to increase the number of audiences. As an illustrated case, American Daily Heroes, as a famous newspaper, devotes several distinct pages to the celebrities’ private lives. By using this marketing strategy, the number of audiences can be extended. Furthermore, it not only provides a great revenue for the media but also guarantees the secure future. Thus, it seems fair to suggest that the famous entertainers or athletes need more privacy which they have now to reduce the coming misuses by medias.
Last but not least, everyone can do peccadilloes or major mistake, however, some factors exacerbate the consequences. In fact, paying more attention to the famous entertainers’ or athletes’ private lives can ostracize their faces, especially after doing a minor mistake. For example, after Michel Jackson was condemned to rape, his shares in national stock took a nosedive. In a nutshell, paying more attention to the celebrities’ private lives can ruin their lives after doing a mistake.
In conclusion, even though some people believe that the famous entertainers or athletes do not deserve in much privacy, I think, given privacy can reduce crime rates, guarantees their security, and halters other misuses. If celebrities had achieved more privacy, various problems would not have made.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...to reduce the coming misuses by medias. Last but not least, everyone can do pecc...
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...rape, his shares in national stock took a nosedive. In a nutshell, paying more attention t...
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Suggestion:
..., various problems would not have made.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, thus, well, another thing, for example, i think, in conclusion, in fact, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 43.0788530466 46% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2129.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 378.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.63227513228 4.8611393121 116% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20988877742 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563492063492 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.5948661551 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.052631579 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8947368421 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.47368421053 5.45110844103 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188535333936 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0703952246841 0.076458572812 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11448780684 0.0737576698707 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127386457488 0.150856017488 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728713760129 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.27 58.1214874552 61% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 10.1575268817 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 10.9000537634 141% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.