Imagine that you have been given the opportunity to advise the government of a city or region (area) that you are familiar with to spend more money on ONE thing to benefit the city or region. Which ONE of these do you believe would be the most beneficial for the city or region? Why?
-Providing more affordable housing
-Reducing air and water pollution
-Attracting new businesses to the city or region
The policy run by the government is of vital importance for the development of a country or region: dealing with environmental problems can provide not only citizens but also animals with fresh air and clean water; offering people living in the cities affordable housing can ensure that everyone has their own shelters; attracting new business can create more jobs for city-dwellers. From my perspective, in terms of benefiting the whole city or region most, attracting new business should be given a priority.
First, attracting new business can create more jobs in the cities and thus improve citizens’ living standard because in order to run a company, its boss has to hire employees to work. Meanwhile, local people can be employed by them and thus get paid; Furthermore, those can also enjoy the welfare brought by those companies. Take the case of Shanghai, a widely recognizable city of China that has attracted a number of exotic companies, as an example. In recent years, Tesla has been attracted by Shanghai, setting up its company and hiring hundreds of local people to work for them. In addition, it also help each employee to purchase the medical insurance so that its workers can be supported when they are hurt. J.P Morgan has been also attracted by Shanghai, recruiting people who major in Finance or Economy and providing them with free apartments. As a result, thanks to the increasing number of foreign companies, an increasingly number of people’s life has been changed tremendously.
Second, more exotic businesses can also benefit the government. As a matter of fact, government can receive taxes from those businesses and thus spend these money on something of greater significance, like constructing more lines of subway, building up more shelters for people, offering more grants for people who just lose their jobs and so on. With more exotic businesses being attracted, more taxes can be gained by them and hence the whole social-welfare will be refined. In this case, a virtuous cycle can be created.
Admittedly, a voice arises that reducing air and water pollution can decrease the number of people or animals that suffer from serious health problems caused by heavy pollution in water or air. Additionally, providing more affordable houses enables more people to find a shelter. Ironically, in order to achieve these, governments are required to take years and a large portion of its fiscal budget, which might exert a heavy economical burden on themselves, not to mention that those policies are not as sustainable as attracting more businesses. Since with more people getting paid, they are indeed capable of purchasing houses themselves without any additional policy and taxes gained from foreign companies can be exploited in environmental protection.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 265, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this can' or 'those cans'?
Suggestion: this can; those cans
...by them and thus get paid; Furthermore, those can also enjoy the welfare brought by those...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 606, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helps'?
Suggestion: helps
... to work for them. In addition, it also help each employee to purchase the medical i...
^^^^
Line 3, column 718, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: P
... can be supported when they are hurt. J.P Morgan has been also attracted by Shang...
^
Line 3, column 922, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('increasingly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('number') instead of another adjective.
...increasing number of foreign companies, an increasingly number of people’s life has been changed treme...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...es from those businesses and thus spend these money on something of greater significance, l...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, second, so, thus, well, while, as to, in addition, as a matter of fact, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2359.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 451.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23059866962 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84760408456 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529933481153 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 738.0 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.9956957263 48.9658058833 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.764705882 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5294117647 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35294117647 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163133870671 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0587669390932 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461976630549 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116535871466 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0536908718673 0.0645574589148 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 11.7677419355 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.