Nowadays, people put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion.

Essay topics:

Nowadays, people put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion.

It is not a new thing for most young school children to be required to take some specially designed courses on art and music as a supplement to their math, language, science, and history courses. People have and still do debate whether such supplementary courses are necessary at all. Personally, I believe these courses on art and music are necessary for young children, especially considering the benefits they bring in increasing school admission possibilities and time management skills.
Firstly, learning art and music can increase children's chances of being admitted to outstanding middle school. Many prestigious schools will consider students with talent in art and music. Since excellent educational resources are limited, it is reasonable for young children to be required to study art and music, to give them an edge. For instance, Tom, my classmate, has just been admitted to a prestigious middle school in our town. The admission committee says that one of the reasons that Tom was admitted is that he has gifts in performing on the piano and in Chinse painting. Since many children with versatile skills like Tom are accepted into excellent middle school, it is wise to have young children study art and music.
Secondly, having youth learn art and music can improve children's time management skills. Scholarly research, most recently published by Harvard Univerisity Press, has proved that this is true. The study published by HUP recruited a team of volunteers to test their efficiency at managing their time and studying. The volunteers were divided into two groups, one of which was taught only core subjects, such as math science, language, and history. The other group also had to take classes in arts and music. Before the study began, all the volunteers were at the same level. After four hours, the group taking art and music courses scored higher on average in all their grades. Those students had learned how to manage their time by having more to do, and been given a valuable break during the week from their core studies; a break seemed to refresh them in all their studies.
Admittedly, art and music courses might take up time that could be used in core subjects. Some people even assert that such courses will negatively influence students' other studies. But the results of the study published by Harvard University Press show this is not true in general. The truth is that students who spend a reasonable amount of time studying art and music become more efficient in their learning.
To summarize, art and music courses are positive for children's regular learning, even though some people worry that learning art and music could occupy too much time. Based on the reasons given above, therefore, I firmly believe that they should be required to study art and music in addition to the regular subjects.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... music are necessary for young children, especially considering the benefits they...
^^
Line 3, column 447, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...as math science, language, and history. The other group also had to take classes in...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, for instance, in addition, in general, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2371.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 471.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03397027601 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54551917499 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496815286624 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 725.4 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.9959193875 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.086956522 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4782608696 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.08695652174 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0259179456455 0.236089414692 11% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00931296505496 0.076458572812 12% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0261716105577 0.0737576698707 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0238286390753 0.150856017488 16% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282815702672 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.