People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do
I totally accede to the statement that people today tend to spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things rather than doing things they ought to do. As far as I am concerned, there seems to be more and more distractions which attract and confuse people. In addition, the rapid development of society releases our concerns about the things we should do.
Primarily, there are more and more distractions and attractions, catching people's eyes. For instance, we can watch 3D or 4D movies in the movie theater, or we can even watch it at home using VR technology. And we are able to play various games on our mobile phone. Due to these numerous entertainment, people are prone to be appealed by these new things and become attached to them. What my brother has experienced can fully illustrate this point. My brother Timmy is a high school student. Recently, his classmates enjoys playing a mobile phone game which Timmy also loves. And then he beg for my mother to purchase a mobile phone, otherwise he won't study hard. Finally, he got his new mobile phone, but he immediately became addicted to those games, throwing his assignment and study all away. Consequently, when facing temptation, we become incapable of resisting it, thus forgetting what we should do.
Secondly, the high-end technology enables people to concern less about themselves. For example, when we feel hungry at home, we do not have to think too much about the hunger. Because we can just order the meal online and have the meals delivered to our houses within 30 minutes. Another case in point is that we care less about the ways we go out since there are numerous methods we can use to arrive at our destinations, such as taking the subway, calling a cab online, etc. All these convenience drives from the rapidly-growing technology, which tremendously facilitates our lives.
In conclusion, living in such environments with innumerous attractions and entertainment, people are prone to spend too much time on what they like. What's more, the versatile technology has greatly facilitates our lives, attenuating our needs to pay attention to what we should do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ncerns about the things we should do. Primarily, there are more and more distr...
^^^^
Line 5, column 588, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'begs'.
Suggestion: begs
...ame which Timmy also loves. And then he beg for my mother to purchase a mobile phon...
^^^
Line 13, column 150, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... spend too much time on what they like. Whats more, the versatile technology has grea...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, second, secondly, so, then, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1793.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 360.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98055555556 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84178342326 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597222222222 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.8796143901 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.65 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287088682173 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0856818079455 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.173489279765 0.0737576698707 235% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238213248908 0.150856017488 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.218548218342 0.0645574589148 339% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.