Schools have always offered students three types of after-school activities. But due to recent limited budgets, they can only support one kind of activities. Which one would you choose?
1. Sports 2. Arts 3. Volunteering
While art activities may shed light on culture and history and sports may teach us a lesson about teamwork; in my viewpoint, what volunteering job can benefit us outweighs the other two activities in terms of the environmental awareness and social skill build up.
It is true that by doing art activities one can foster its knowledge related to art history and culture. Such as seeing Van Goh’s self-portrait, learning the background of the artwork, reading art history book, acknowledging the changes in art styles over time. However, these similar subjects are also taught in the class. What is not being taught is to know our society, community, and environment in person, which can be achieved by attending a volunteering job. Mostly, volunteering jobs focus on the social or environmental issue. By attending non-profit organization to clean the beaches and streets, one can realize that how those waste that we produce in our daily life can seriously harm our environment. Taking care of homeless or elders who live alone, people get to know the social issue is existing in our neighborhood, not just a textbook title.
Moreover, unlike sports activities, which usually is played by a group of people from similar age and background, volunteering jobs mostly gather people from all kinds of background. Although sports allow ones to learn teamwork and share the same interest, it is still confined within certain background without real help on our future life in society. In contrast, the volunteering job provides us a chance to know people from different ages and backgrounds. By interacting with them, we can build up different social skill for a different group of people. For instance, talking with elders we need to speak slower and explain our idea in a way they can understand; chatting with peers we can be more casual, interacting with experienced business people we need to adjust our speaking tone and vocabularies.
Given the advantages of attending volunteering job – understand our environment and society and have social skill lesson – it is indeed wiser to support volunteering activities that can truly nourish our knowledge related to the world.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 865, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eighborhood, not just a textbook title. Moreover, unlike sports activities, whic...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, while, for instance, in contrast, such as, in my view, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1831.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 355.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15774647887 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93761897411 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.557746478873 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.1527085787 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.785714286 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3571428571 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85714285714 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149523569438 0.236089414692 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0522859975017 0.076458572812 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0365496941259 0.0737576698707 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0899412547415 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0213921122483 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.