Some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
As a Japanese proverb says, " What's learned in the cradle lasts till the tomb." Grounded on this statement, the importance of a high-quality education is an axiomatic fact. Parents and teachers occasionally use rewards for children who try their best and attain a good score on exams. A heated controversy in this area is whether using money as an impetus is a reasonable idea or not. Notwithstanding the arguments asserting that hard work can ensue from an invaluable prize, namely, money, I believe otherwise, maintaining the fact that offering money as a prize for a decent score, not merely results success, but also can leads to dire consequences, conditional behavior and mental problems, to name but two. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate upon my stance toward this topic.
First and foremost, the crux of the matter lies in the fact that a detrimental habit ensues from expecting a reward for studying and getting a good score in school. In this manner, the solely inducement for a student is money, rather than a successful life in the near future. In fact, rarely does a noticeable achievement stem from this method. Take two group of school students as an example; one rewarded for each high performance and the other not. As long as the first group is provided with a reward, in general, and money in particular, they try their best to acquire the money. Consequently, were the parents not to offer the money, the students would feel distressed, loose their hope and even discard their education. On the other hand, the latter group focuses on a permanent goal, a bright future.
Another salient point in corroborating my stance in this subject is that a constant rewarding system brings about mental problems and immoral behaviors in order to obtain the money. Nowadays, parents are obsessed with their children's future. To shed light on this, they expect a brilliant life for their beloved children, and occasionally, some of their methods is not acceptable whatsoever. Inducing money as a driving force and lack of emotional supports, the parents expose their off springs to serious mental pressures, namely, stresses and cheating. In fact, the embarrassment which a student experiences after a failure at school, brings about a fiasco at best, and even persuade him or her to cheat which is a bed-rock for future disorders.
To put it briefly, all the enumerated motives converge to the fact that money is not a proper impetus for a school-age student. In the end, I find it very difficult to reduce this intricate topic to two simple reasons, the conditional behavior and mental pressures, since the child-related issues must be shared with a specialist in this realm.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
As a Japanese proverb says, ' Whats learned in the cradle lasts till the to...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 636, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...ot merely results success, but also can leads to dire consequences, conditional behav...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ate upon my stance toward this topic. First and foremost, the crux of the matt...
^^^
Line 3, column 678, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...ey, the students would feel distressed, loose their hope and even discard their educa...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, consequently, first, if, so, in fact, in general, in particular, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2265.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0110619469 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83502571078 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564159292035 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 698.4 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 10.0 3.08781362007 324% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.2700755725 48.9658058833 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.210526316 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7894736842 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36842105263 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.291376242322 0.236089414692 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0879867220183 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512518153248 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169719892524 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.037226394054 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.