Students could receive a better more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying

Essay topics:

Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.

As a high school student, frequent sleep deprivation is a common problem. Teachers often try to cram the overloaded amount of class material into a limited amount of time. Every year, there are so many topics that teachers need to cover and students receive far too much stress from it. If the school year is extended, then the teacher does not have to push through all the materials and students can have more time absorbing the knowledge. Students could receive a better and more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying because they can sleep more to stay healthy and also have more time to digest each lesson.

One can argue that having a shorter semester can allow students to get a longer break. Students can spend more time having fun and relaxing. They can visit interesting cities or spend the time to bond with friends. However, after coming back from a long break, students can find it hard to adjust to a rigorous school life. They might have difficulties staying focus in school. Furthermore, after a long period of fun, students might have forgotten previous course material, and teacher have to waste time to do a review session to refresh the students’ memories. Therefore, it is better to have a shorter break and a longer school year.

The first effect of extending the school year is the increase in the amount of sleep. Because teachers are less pressured to teach as much everyday, they do not have to assign as much work. Therefore, students can have more time to do each assignment and this can allow them to sleep earlier. Maintaining eight hours of sleep is essential for keeping a good health. It is important that our bodies receive enough sleep to be able to function properly and strengthen our immune systems. If students were constantly deprived of sleep, then they would be getting sick all the time and would not be able to concentrate in class and fully learn the class materials. It is important to stay healthy in order to succeed in school and earn a good grade. Students can focus more with more sleep so they can learn better.

In addition, another effect of spending 11 months a year studying is that students can have more time to fully understand the lessons. Since the materials can be spread over a longer time, students have more time for each lesson. Therefore, if a student has a question about any part of the material, he can spend more time to figure it out or ask his teacher. If the school year were shorter, then the student might be pressured to move on to the next lesson without even understanding the previous. This can lead to the student failing his classes. From this example, it can be seen that having more time to ask and interpret the lessons can benefit slower students and help them achieve a better education. Also, since 11 months is a lot more than a normal school year, even if the teacher teaches at a slow pace, he can still cover more material. Therefore, students can be taught more and understand more knowledge.

More sleep and more time to learn are two important benefits from extending the school year to 11 months. This can lead to a healthier lifestyle and better grades in school. In 11 months, students can learn more lessons and also be able to fully understand every one of them. Spending more time in school can help students receive a better and more efficient education.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ers are less pressured to teach as much everyday, they do not have to assign as much wor...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 805, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
... more with more sleep so they can learn better. In addition, another effect of s...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...more sleep so they can learn better. In addition, another effect of spending ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, so, still, then, therefore, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 29.0 9.8082437276 296% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2802.0 1977.66487455 142% => OK
No of words: 596.0 407.700716846 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70134228188 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94096258147 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42984999193 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404362416107 0.524837075471 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 837.9 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 3.51792114695 313% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2115820138 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.5625 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.625 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.4375 5.45110844103 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358367525113 0.236089414692 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116631413169 0.076458572812 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.126570325119 0.0737576698707 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.25332650758 0.150856017488 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103952192657 0.0645574589148 161% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.94 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.