TPO-32 - Integrated Writing Task

Essay topics:

TPO-32 - Integrated Writing Task

During 1960 until 1980, sailors in Russia submarines patrolling in North Atlantic and Arctic Ocean reported some strange sound similar to croaks of frog, so they called it 'quackers'. The sound moved very quickly and sonar device could not detect the source of the sound. The article brings few theories for the source of the sound; however, the lecturer says there have been a lot of investigation on this matter but they can not be sure what was the source of the sound, however she thinks the theories presented in the article are very unlikely.

First, the article suggests that these sounds are made by whales during a courtship ritual when male and female call each other, because sound of whales are very similar to quackers when they try to attract a male, but the professor say whales swim near the surface of the sea, so it is unlikely that submarines detect this sound deep down in the ocean, in addition to that, sonar could have detect the whales as the source if whales were responsible for it.

Second, the article writes that an animal called giant squid that has soft body with no skeleton ,which make it difficult to be detected, is responsible for the quackers, because they have complex brain system that enable them to produce this sound; however, the lecturer says that this sound were recorded just for two decays while giant squid have been there before and lives in that area now, so why they do not make the sound now? why would they stop or start suddenly?

Third, the article notes that some secret submarine of another country has made the sound, and it was not detected by sonar because of some new undetecable technology, but the professor says that submarines cannot move as fast as the sound quackers moved because their engines are not very advanced and their engines cannot produce a sound like that, and no engines can be so quick or so silent.

Votes
Average: 7.9 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed in the article are very unlikely. First, the article suggests that these s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 397, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'detected'.
Suggestion: detected
..., in addition to that, sonar could have detect the whales as the source if whales were...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e if whales were responsible for it. Second, the article writes that an anima...
^^^
Line 5, column 100, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...quid that has soft body with no skeleton ,which make it difficult to be detected, ...
^^
Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Why
... so why they do not make the sound now? why would they stop or start suddenly? ...
^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y would they stop or start suddenly? Third, the article notes that some secre...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, third, while, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 22.412803532 138% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 30.3222958057 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1559.0 1373.03311258 114% => OK
No of words: 331.0 270.72406181 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70996978852 5.08290768461 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26537283232 4.04702891845 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.18166218178 2.5805825403 85% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507552870091 0.540411800872 94% => OK
syllable_count: 479.7 419.366225166 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.116997792494 855% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.51434878587 264% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 13.0662251656 54% => Need more sentences, or put a space between two sentences.
Sentence length: 47.0 21.2450331126 221% => Sentence length is too long
Sentence length SD: 157.240489151 49.2860985944 319% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 222.714285714 110.228320801 202% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 47.2857142857 21.698381199 218% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 8.85714285714 7.06452816374 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 4.19205298013 143% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 4.33554083885 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.504973444858 0.272083759551 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.236557579537 0.0996497079465 237% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0786590171779 0.0662205650399 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.314516251881 0.162205337803 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0439514689446 0.0443174109184 99% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.4 13.3589403974 183% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 53.8541721854 76% => It means the essay is relatively harder to read.
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 19.3 11.0289183223 175% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.93 12.2367328918 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.42419426049 104% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 63.6247240618 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 20.8 10.498013245 198% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

complex brain system that enable them
complex brain systems that enable them

this sound were recorded
this sound was recorded

some secret submarine of another country has made the sound
some secret submarines of another country have made the sound

Sentence: Third, the article notes that some secret submarine of another country has made the sound, and it was not detected by sonar because of some new undetecable technology, but the professor says that submarines cannot move as fast as the sound quackers moved because their engines are not very advanced and their engines cannot produce a sound like that, and no engines can be so quick or so silent.
Error: undetecable Suggestion: undetectable

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 6 12
No. of Words: 331 250
No. of Characters: 1516 1200
No. of Different Words: 158 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.265 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.58 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.129 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 55.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.958 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.545 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.824 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.271 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4