TPO 50 Integrated Writing Task

Traveling to Mars has been considered for several years by humans. While the passage suggests a mission to Mars may contain serious problems, the lecture gives a solution to all stated difficulties in the passage.

To start with, the passage states that Mars being further from the earth than the moon acquire more food, water and oxygen supply which should be adequate for a two year trip. However, the lecture disputes this idea by suggesting hydroponics, growing special kinds of plants in the water, which will result in food to eat, recycled waste water to drink and less carbon dioxied and more oxygen in the environment to breath.

Secondly, although the passage strongly believes spending a long time in zero-gravity will cause decrease in muscle mass and lower bone density, the lecture disaproves this opinion. Firstly, she claims regular amount of excercise will prohibit decrease in muscle mass. Also she adds that eating mineral and vitamins such as Calcium will help with bone density.

In addition to, the passage worries about astronauts being exposed to sun radiation. The lecturer however says that radiation exposure is only occasionally. As well as that, she states monitoring amount of radiation and putting shields in space crafts and using them when radiation is dangerous can be helpful.

In conclusion, although the reading is concerned about problems of traveling to Mars, the three points made in the reading are effectively challenged by the lecturer.

Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Number of Paragraphs: 5 4

better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 239 250
No. of Characters: 1212 1200
No. of Different Words: 147 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.932 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.071 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.386 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.729 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4