Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
With the growth in globalization era, many families have problems especially health for their children due to lifestyle. Pupils tend to spend a long time for watching television or PC. As a consequence, they do not have time for exercise and they more likely to eat everything they want, so it will be unbalance diet. While this issue has different respond about someone who responsible to tackle problems. I believe that both schools and parents should responsible and Governor also should take a part to address problems.
Admittedly, parents and schools have their own duties to control children when they grow up especially their diet. This is because monitoring whole activities are a part of parents duty. For instance, majority of children, now, spend their activities in front of PC r television in more a half in a day. As a result, they only have a limit time to exercise or maybe they do not want to do physical exercise because they enjoy with their activities. Moreover, schools also have responsibility to face this issue. Needless to say, pupils have tight scheadule in their school and it becomes their second home. For example, some schools only have a programme for physical activities and pupils only do once a week. It leads to be obesity in children as they only do little exercise.
A range of food is also a part of parents and schools duties. In fact, parents have limit due to overload work. A case in point, parents pick up child to K.F.C or M.C.D for eating. Thus, it make bad habits when children are hungry and they choose fatty food as their diet. Furthermore, pupils also change their energy after their done a lots do in schools. A case in point, majority of pupils tend to buy their food in canteens and schools have the key role for regulation. Unfortunately, some schools do not have regulations for nutritions each food. Consequently, overweight in children causes a high consumption of fast food. There is no doubt that both parents and schools contribute unhealthy lifestyle for children.
Also, governor especially health authorities has an enormous impact for a healthy lifestyle as their policies have dominant power to broke bad habit. In fact, some schools must obey the regulation especially to arrange canteens. In Indonesia at elementary schools Surabaya having an organization control the amounts of food including packages, nutritions, and spotlight. Therefore, the problem reduces gradually every year ad brings great impact. So, government should make better policies to address problems.
The aforementioned evidence that parents, schools and government should responsible to solve unhealthy lifestyle. Furthermore, I strongly believe that unhealthy lifestyle is our problem, so it is better when we tackle the problems together. It is imperative that this problems should find the best solution as soon as possible due to the fact that it will impact our young generation.
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- Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? 70
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- Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. 70
and they more likely to eat everything they want,
and they are more likely to eat everything they want,
so it will be unbalance diet
so it will be an unbalance diet
someone who responsible to tackle problems
someone who is responsible to tackle problems
Sentence: I believe that both schools and parents should responsible and Governor also should take a part to address problems.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to should and responsible
Sentence: This is because monitoring whole activities are a part of parents duty.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and duty
Sentence: A range of food is also a part of parents and schools duties.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to schools and duties
Sentence: In fact, parents have limit due to overload work.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to limit and due
having an organization control the amounts of food
having an organization controls the amounts of food
Sentence: The aforementioned evidence that parents, schools and government should responsible to solve unhealthy lifestyle.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to should and responsible
Sentence: It is imperative that this problems should find the best solution as soon as possible due to the fact that it will impact our young generation.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
Sentence: Needless to say, pupils have tight scheadule in their school and it becomes their second home.
Error: scheadule Suggestion: schedule
Sentence: For example, some schools only have a programme for physical activities and pupils only do once a week.
Error: programme Suggestion: programmed
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Words: 485 while No. of Different Words: 225
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 485 350
No. of Characters: 2379 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.748 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.106 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.633 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5