Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.
Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about how top sports people should act. While there are some good arguments in favour of the contention that famous athletes do not have a moral responsibility for children, I believe that they have to act as positive role models.
On one side of the argument, many people believe that famous sports players do not have an obligation to try to be a good influence on children. In my view, the athlete’s main concern is to play the sport and play it well. If other people such as fans want an athlete to be a role model, that is their choice. Also, it depends on what an individual defines what qualities make a role model. Hence, a standard of being a good role model is difficult to give a precise definition, and it is particular to individual person. At the same time, professional athletes are looked at as more skilled in sport than the average person. If all players are obligated to be good role models, it will be no longer real. As a result, they will essentially become something they are not.
On the other hand, there are several reasons why I believe that professional athletes have an obligation to act as good role models in society, especially for young people. Firstly, top athletes get paid a huge amount of money because they have millions of fans who watch them. The players owe their livelihood to these fans, many of who start out as young children looking up to them as mentors. Secondly, children who support their own favourite sports stars buy their shoes, jerseys, and most importantly tickets to their games. Michael Jordan is a good example of this, selling his Air Jordan’s at the apex of his career. Finally, many children have no parents or parents absent in their childhood. When these children have no one in their lives to look up to, they choose athletes to be their role models.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against the responsibility of sports stars to act as good role models for children, but I believe that they are obligated to do so.
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Sentence: The players owe their livelihood to these fans, many of who start out as young children looking up to them as mentors.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a WH-pronoun, nominative
Suggestion: Refer to of and who
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1632 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.521 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.487 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.62 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5