do you agree or with the following statement? people behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave ? Use specific examples to support your answer.
The way which people behave with is very important because it shapes their personalities. Some people I'm sure would agree that clothes influence people behavior, others would disagree. In my view, different clothes influence the way people behave for two important reasons.
The main reason is that, many jobs require their employers to wear specific clothes and to behave in a specific way. For example, last week i went to the Asian restaurant. The workers were wearing the Asian costumes. I recognized that some of the workers were not Asian but they were acting and behaving just like the Asian people. I sat in my spot and i ordered my dinner, and the server came to me and asked me if everything was good. I asked him if he is Asian but he answered me that he is not , and he said that his owner wants him to act as the Asian people.I told him that i barely recognized him the clothes was totally changed him to Asian one As you can see , some times jobs require workers to change their behavior when they wear different clothes.
Another reason is that, to blend with a new environment. For example , in 1999 i studied a broad in France. I stayed there for four semesters.At first , i was a foreign student because i was wearing my costumes that related to my country. Actually i wasn't have many friends they felt that i was strange, as a result I wanted to blend in this new environment , and to feel that i"m one of this country. I didn't wear my costume any more instead i wore like the France people. Furthermore I wanted to be familiar with their culture. At this time when i wore clothes of this country i felt that even the way of my behave had changed. After that i had many friends , and no one considered me as a foreign student any more. This experience taught me that the clothes are important to make person one of new community.
In sum, though some may oppose that, clothes influence the way people behave, not only because of jobs but also to blend with the culture of the country. In my opinion everyone should learn the culture of countries and their costumes when he decides to visit them.
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- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO2 80
i barely recognized him the clothes was totally changed him to Asian one
i barely recognized him, because the clothes were totally changed him to Asian one
my costumes that related to my country.
my costumes that are related to my country.
my costumes related to my country.
not only because of jobs but also to blend with the culture of the country.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
In my opinion everyone should learn the culture of countries and their costumes when he decides to visit them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 392 while No. of Different Words: 168
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1682 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.291 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.321 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.163 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5