The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.
In the above argument, author talks about changing the departmental stores strategy by replacing consumer products with the ones bought by middle-aged consumers to increase the sales in coming decade. Author derives this strategy on basis of various factors mentioned, such as that the middle-aged consumers spend 39 percent of retail expenditure to department stores where as the young spend only 25 percent. Secondly, author has mentioned that the middle-aged group people likely to increase within the next decade, expecting the retail sales to increase significantly during that span of time. Going through the article, one can find that the author needs to do some deeper analysis on the facts and figures and the trend of consumers before coming down to the conclusion.
In the argument, author has failed to mention the departmental stores considered before coming to the statistics mentioned for different age groups. There might be a possibility that the author has considered just one specific departmental store or all the departmental stores in the region. If all departmental stores are involved, then this surely strengthens the argument made. If this is not the case, this weakens the argument significantly. Here author need to mention about the stores taken into consideration for the survey and also the information regarding the age group population residing in the region.
However, talking about the young consumers and looking on the increase in popularity of the online retail marketing, there is a higher possibility that the young consumer get attracted to the availability, options and the discount provided by the online retailers on the products as compared to the departmental stores. As the demand and popularity of the online retail shopping is increasing day by day, there might also be a case in future that even the middle-aged group people would move towards online retail markets for their retail expenditure. This surely will affect the overall sales of departmental stores in the coming decade.
Coming to the statement made by author on increasing the products that attract middle-aged group in coming decade, there might be case where currently the young consumers have migrated to other places for various reasons like higher education or better jobs. Also in coming decade the scenario could change can find many young migrating to the region if the government has plans to get better companies or better educational institutes in coming future. Also the residing middle-aged population could migrate to other places due to various reasons. If any of these cases comes true, departmental stores might have more young consumers than expected, thus causing unavailability of sufficient product options in the store for each age group affecting popularity and the sales of the store drastically.
Looking into various points mentioned above, author should have a deeper analysis on the customer trends in the departmental stores across, better statistics on the population trend and migration trend. Also author needs to understand the growing online marketing demand and its effect on consumers and the departmental stores before signing down the conclusion.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-04-28 | Pranav Lohote | 68 | view |
- The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:Nearly 70% of employers blamed inadequate training for the shortfall in skilled workers, yet 70% of education-providers believe they suitably prepare graduates for the jobs market. Simil 69
- The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Sin 55
- The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because 59
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
in the argument 1, there is no message about 'just one specific departmental store or all the departmental stores in the region', it told: 'in average...'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2658 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.295 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.757 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 219 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.392 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 69, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...r talks about changing the departmental stores strategy by replacing consumer products...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 369, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...retail expenditure to department stores where as the young spend only 25 percent. Second...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 455, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ducational institutes in coming future. Also the residing middle-aged population cou...
^^^^
Line 7, column 566, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cases'' or 'case's'?
Suggestion: cases'; case's
...due to various reasons. If any of these cases comes true, departmental stores might h...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 204, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e population trend and migration trend. Also author needs to understand the growing ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, look, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, such as, talking about
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.6327345309 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2711.0 2260.96107784 120% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40039840637 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8115756895 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426294820717 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 849.6 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.85218235 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.611111111 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8888888889 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.11111111111 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217193576028 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0786734489994 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0734205970886 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13020965505 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0716733736976 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.