“A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The author in this argument is making conclusions about the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. The argument, however, is full of assumptions that are flawed and needs to be evaluated clearly to make any conclusion.
First, the author is saying that that the recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys has shown that in stimulating situations, firstborn produce up to twice as much of hormone cortisol, as do their younger sibling. The study is only limited to eighteen monkeys and also the the study has not been conducted widely over other breeds of monkeys. There should have been more number of monkeys to study the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulations. Also, the author has not mentioned the area where the study was conducted, it might have been possible that the area where this study was conducted have first born monkeys who produce have level of hormone cortisol. There should also be other types of monkeys included in study. If all these mentioned things would have been done then the conclusion would have been more cogent.
Secondly, the author is saying that the firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations, but there is no evidence given in the argument to show this effect on humans. It cannot be said that first born humans produce high levels of cortisol based on the study that has been conducted on monkeys. It might be possible that the humans does not have high levels of cortisol. The author needs to provide solid evidence to make such assumption.
Also, the author is telling us about the first-time mother monkeys who had higher levels of cortisol than those who had several offsprings. But there is no any scientific data or evidence provided in the argument to conclude anything about the high levels of cortisol found in the first-time mother. It cannot be concluded that the first-born monkey had high level of cortisol due the their mother. It might be be the case that there is no relation between the cortisol level of first born and first-time mother monkey.
Thus, the argument is full of assumptions and there is no evidence provided to prove anything mentioned in the argument. So, the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulations is flawed.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2020-01-23 | lanhhoang | 29 | view |
| 2020-01-16 | baburaoapte | 39 | view |
| 2019-09-24 | jms96ZZ | 80 | view |
| 2019-08-20 | carlossouza | 23 | view |
| 2019-06-27 | Pruthviraj R Patil | 26 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1878 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.828 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.484 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.44 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 29, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...clusion. First, the author is saying that that the recent study of eighteen rhesus mon...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 268, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ly limited to eighteen monkeys and also the the study has not been conducted widely ove...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 268, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ly limited to eighteen monkeys and also the the study has not been conducted widely ove...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 751, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...her types of monkeys included in study. If all these mentioned things would have b...
^^
Line 7, column 154, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...ho had several offsprings. But there is no any scientific data or evidence provide...
^^
Line 7, column 382, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'their'?
Suggestion: the; their
...n monkey had high level of cortisol due the their mother. It might be be the case that th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 409, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: be
...cortisol due the their mother. It might be be the case that there is no relation betw...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1939.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98457583548 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71184954959 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.390745501285 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 601.2 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0520960447 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.722222222 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6111111111 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288650094941 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115544062601 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123282713537 0.0701772020484 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177700272931 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0770452953919 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.