Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author concludes that the so-called ‘Palean’ woven basket featuring a unique pattern attached on it could not possibly originate from the village of Palea as was upheld by people before after the occurrence of an incident that archeologists in recent days came to discover a similar basket situated in another village adjacent to Palea which is called Lithos. Considering the further investigation that pointed out that no Palean boats were detected nearby and the Brim River separating two villages is so deep and broad that it was impossible for ancient men to cross it, the conclusion was reinforced. Similarly sound and appropriate, loopholes are rife and I would like to say that more evidence is entailed to consolidate author’s argument over this issue.
The recent discovery, cited by the author, of a similar basket in Lithos is in no way linked with its stemming from there. Due to their proximity, inhabitants of two villages could have had an intimate relationship, which means that the interaction between them might have been quite frequent. It might be the case that the Palean people transmitted their valuable ideas to the people in Lithos and also presented them with techniques and skills on weaving those baskets. It is also highly probable that economic transactions ensured that commodity on one side of the river were accessible to those on the other. Thus the evidence on those mentioned above, if authenticated, can greatly undermine the validity of his argument.
Furthermore, the author claimed that the Brim River is deep and broad but what it used to be he did not describe. Geographic patterns are liable to change over a long period of time induced by natural disasters. The tectonic hazard can not only exact a toll on people by and large but also has the capability to change geography. For example, an earthquake can warp a landscape to the extent that fractures will emerge in the earth’s crust and a clifflike ridge is to be created. Therefore what now turns out to be a river can be a piece of compact land long ago. To strengthen his/her argument, the author would benefit from implementing a comprehensive survey on the origin of the Brim River to take a look at what it initially was.
Additionally, the author made a claim that no boats were found in the nearby region, thus asserting the conclusion, which I am fiercely objected to. The boat in the prehistoric time could have been made from wood, a substance easy to rot away, rather than contemporary material such as carbon steel or aluminium alloy with a quality of withstanding harsh environment. With time passing by, the splash of water, the attack of gales as well as the decomposition in the soil could all have made a great impact on its exterior outlook. It might have been left with only a fractional piece buried deeply, hard to make out with the naked eye. The evidence that the material used to manufacture boats at that time was limited and only confined to wood, if verified, could potentially weaken the position the author holds.
The author does not take into account the intimacy people living on two sides might have nurtured, the shifting geographical patterns and the characteristic of the material from which boats were built. More evidence are thus needed to guarantee the argument the author held is fully persuasive.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- better to say: maybe people in Lithos have boats.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 567 350
No. of Characters: 2725 1500
No. of Different Words: 290 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.88 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.806 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.672 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.552 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 620, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...ross it, the conclusion was reinforced. Similarly sound and appropriate, loopholes are ri...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...thor's argument over this issue. The recent discovery, cited by the autho...
^^
Line 2, column 616, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... were accessible to those on the other. Thus the evidence on those mentioned above, ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ndermine the validity of his argument. Furthermore, the author claimed that the...
^^
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...tterns are liable to change over a long period of time induced by natural disasters. The tecto...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...and a clifflike ridge is to be created. Therefore what now turns out to be a river can be...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... take a look at what it initially was. Additionally, the author made a claim th...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... weaken the position the author holds. The author does not take into account th...
^^
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...living on two sides might have nurtured, the shifting geographical patterns and t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, look, similarly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, such as, as well as, by and large
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2799.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 566.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94522968198 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87757670434 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.831646227 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 292.0 204.123752495 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515901060071 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 897.3 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.2823640233 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.285714286 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9523809524 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2380952381 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180258141963 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0467778880271 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0466442067045 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0929495603648 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0457818996704 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 151.0 98.500998004 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 29.5 12.3882235529 238% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.