TPO 54 Writing Independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the modern era, governments invest in several areas including education, health, transportation, and so forth to fulfill people's necessary demands. Moreover, the government may allocate budgets to other activities as well, including supporting artists and athletes. The controversial question which arises here is to some extent the government should support each group. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that the government should spend more money in support of arts while others believe that the attention should be focused on athletes. From my vantage point, the latter view is more rational. In what follows, two significant reasons will vindicate my viewpoint.
The first aspect to point out is that in most international events including the Olympics, athletes and sports teams are representative of their countries. If they flourish and succeed in the competitions, their countries would be introduced positively and people from all around the world will conceive a decent image of those nations. For instance, I'm always really enthusiastic about watching the Olympic Games. Sometimes, I see people from countries whose names I may not have even heard before. When I see these people's success, I would think that they have a supportive government and I even become interested to know more about their country. Therefore, supporting athletes could bring about international fame and success for the countries. On the other hand, although art can promote a country’s status as well, for example, there might be some exhibitions and events which different countries present their arts, no event is actually more famous than sports events. Therefore, every nation should pay more attention to their athletes.
Furthermore, athletes include larger populations of a country. There are various sports and in each of them, several people are active. Therefore, if a country pays attention to its athletes, indeed, it assists a wider range of people to thrive and bring success for the country. Moreover, with more support of the government, young talents will become more motivated to follow their interests in a special sport. For instance, in one of the Middle East countries, the government supports its athletes insufficiently. As a result, fewer young children are willing to pursue sports for the rest of their life. Moreover, current athletes are really dissatisfied since they have difficulty to afford their necessary demands. They may even leave their activities and be occupied with other jobs so that they can make ends meet. Therefore, inadequate support of governments not only results in less success and prominence of a country but also would present challenging life situations for a wide range of the population.
To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that governments should devote more investment in supports of athletes. Although other groups of people including artists should be valued by the government and provided with sufficient support, the fact that athletes are representative of a country's identity in international events would result in special attention from the authorities. Moreover, the athletes involve a larger population of a country and therefore, governments should give more encouragement and financial assistance so that the country will boast more successful people.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-19 | behzad ranjbar | 85 | view |
| 2020-01-11 | chou chun | 71 | view |
| 2020-01-02 | mahdiye_mellati@yahoo.com | 71 | view |
| 2019-12-12 | 地狱博士后 | 73 | view |
| 2019-12-01 | dntil | 76 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 352, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...t image of those nations. For instance, Im always really enthusiastic about watchi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, really, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, for instance, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2854.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 518.0 407.700716846 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.50965250965 4.8611393121 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96929773332 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 212.727598566 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490347490347 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 869.4 618.680645161 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8365925577 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.769230769 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9230769231 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.11538461538 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219983475354 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0696091167128 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0644081099556 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163427451876 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0468627536785 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 58.1214874552 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 10.9000537634 135% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.