Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No one can deny the importance of educating in the children's future. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely state that these types of hobbies do not affect their education. Even though some people may think that spending so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking web sites could have bad effect on their education, it is my firm belief that these activities are not going to have serious effects on their education. To support my opinion, I will provide two major reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, nowadays, parents pay more attention to their children education. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. For instance, when I was 15, my parent wanted to enroll me in high school. I wanted to go to some school which was so near to my friend's house. In fact, it was important for me to keep my connection with my old friends. In my friend's house we used to play video games. We were so eager to play these games all day long. My parents did not agree my selected school. They wanted me to go to some other school with better educational system. They wanted me to become a doctor and wanted to send me to some school with better quality from scientific aspects. At the end, I went to the school that my parents picked. I had good experience on that specific school. Finally, after 4 years of hard work, I entered to medical school. I think this example could vividly shows that how much children education is important for the parents in current ages.
Secondly, I think that children play online games and all other delight activities in their free time and that could even help them to understand their lessons in the better way. For example, one of my friend had a 10 years old boy. His child liked spending so much time on Facebook. At first , he was so worried that this is somethings detrimental for his child. He deprived him from doing that. As a matter of fact, that boy did not to study his lessons any more. He was so sad. Therefore, my friend discussed with some doctor and they decided to let him spending time on what he liked. As a result, his educational performance got better. His grades improved and he was not sad any more. I think for the examples like this we can say that playing games and doing all sort of joyful activities could help children to have a better educational performances.
In the light of above mentioned reasons, I believe that parent should let their children to do some these activities as a hobby. In my view, more attention of parents and giving children some fun time are two major reasons on this topic. It might be other reasons but I think these are more important.
- tpo4 3
- TPO-3 Integrated writing 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 951, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'show'
Suggestion: show
...ool. I think this example could vividly shows that how much children education is imp...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 966, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...is example could vividly shows that how much children education is important for the...
^^^^
Line 9, column 293, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nding so much time on Facebook. At first , he was so worried that this is somethin...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, in fact, sort of, as a matter of fact, as a result, in my view, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 89.0 43.0788530466 207% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2279.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 501.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54890219561 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45740526843 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473053892216 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 703.8 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 27.0 9.59856630824 281% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.7115232774 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.21875 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.65625 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207816854667 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0554496821683 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424094039218 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131917922263 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0256288380741 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.8 11.7677419355 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.81 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.