Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Most businesspeople are motivated only by the desire for more money

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most businesspeople are motivated only by the desire for more money

Motivation can play a vital role in business people’s jobs that can make sense of purpose and fulfillment. So crucial is the business impetus that there is a plethora of controversy around it. Many people hold the opinion that most business people are motivated only by the desire for money. I concur with this viewpoint. In the ensuing lines, I will delve into two reasons to substantiate my answer.
The first of note is that they will highly be respected by people. Having more money leads to a higher social class. On the other hand, the more upper social level they have, the more people respect them. Therefore, they will be highly respected. For example, my cousin is highly respected by people owing to the fact that he is a wealthy businessman. For this reason, he set the money his only business motivation.

The second reason coming to mind is that should they have more money, they will reach their goals quickly. Money solves the problems in most of the cases, and it can be an accelerator to reach our goals. Furthermore, productive business people can hire other people to work for them. Hence, they can achieve their goals sooner. According to a recent study conducted at the National Iranian Business Center (NIBC), over 70 percent of all Iranian businesspeople who motivated only by the impetus for money reach their aims quickly. This statistic clearly shows the importance of money.
To sum up, having aforesaid reasons and examples, one can safely conclude that business people are motivated merely by the desire for money. This is because not only will they be respected by people, but also they will reach their goals quickly.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 140, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'upper' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: upper
...er social class. On the other hand, the more upper social level they have, the more people...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, second, so, therefore, for example, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 52.1666666667 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1375.0 1977.66487455 70% => OK
No of words: 282.0 407.700716846 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87588652482 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47671364054 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 212.727598566 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.528368794326 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 429.3 618.680645161 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.4462066181 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 72.3684210526 100.406767564 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.8421052632 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36842105263 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205100787084 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0682929519042 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0666724302667 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138816228576 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0166500749522 0.0645574589148 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.43 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.