Imagine you could improve the town where you live by changing one important thing about it. Which of the following would you choose to do?
• Build additional parks
• Construct more libraries
• Improve public transportation
Use specific details and examples in your answer. Do not use memorized examples.
2-
Throughout human history, man has been modifying things and trying to improve his life and the people around them; along the same line, he has provided comforts and facilities by using all the resources provided by God.
The question that often puzzles us is whether or not designing other parks for the betterment of the town would be a good idea or bad. I believe that the answer to this simple question is yes, it matters.
To commence, building more parks will provide the public's opportunity to relax their minds and alleviate work-related stress; thus, the whole community's health condition will improve. To be specific, all of the individuals of every family work long hours to provide basic needs to their families; in other words, they fulfill their obligations, which are the fundamental necessity of human beings. Because of arduous daily tasks, they return home with a stressed mind and look for a place to sit and freshen up their thoughts. Unfortunately, our limited community parks are worn out and crowded to such an extent that even kids do not find a place to play. A salient example is my father's health condition that supports the reason mentioned above. He lives in the same city New York as I do. He worked for more than thirty years for the government, and he was compelled to get early retirement because he went into depression. The doctor suggested my father go to a park and had a brisk walk to stop thinking about the stress caused by work. Although our town park was always occupied with plenty of people, my father started going into the park. Instead of getting improved, his health condition became worse because of the uncomfortable environment that the park provided to him. There was only one park in the city,/the park was the only one in the city, and it was very crowded with noise. In the end, he got retired. As you see, if there were many parks in the community, my father would choose the one that's more peaceful with fewer people, and he would not have faced serious health-related consequences at his early age. That is why more parks should be designed in a city.
Apart from what I mentioned above, additional parks will dramatically attract people of all ages; hence, it will provide people the opportunity to expand their social circles by making new friends; as a result, such networking can help someone to find a job. More specifically, when people of different cultures gather at one spot, they not only exchange their ideas, but they also provide us a sea of knowledge and become good friends, which can help anyone in their academic career to find a job. For example, after my graduation from computer science, I was desperately looking for a job. Luckily in those days, I started going to a newly constructed park close to my residential address. I came across one person who was working in a Microsoft firm. Moreover, after several days of continuously talking with him in the park about our lives, not only did we become good friends, but he also assisted me in finding a job. Now I attribute my success to him. If this park had not provided a platform to meet us, I would still be unemployed as an individual of this town.
To sum up, I firmly believe that if I ever had a chance to improve my town, I would prefer to build more parks. Because it will attract people to be in one center to connect and share their concerns and help improve the community by removing its member's anxiety problems.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-05-02 | Hibahtabbaa | 70 | view |
| 2023-05-02 | Hibahtabbaa | 70 | view |
| 2022-11-22 | Nina Tsarevich | 63 | view |
| 2021-08-18 | amarBiden | 70 | view |
| 2021-08-17 | quanlqd | 75 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 3, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
2- Throughout human history, man has been m...
^^^^
Line 2, column 92, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding people'?
Suggestion: the surrounding people
...ings and trying to improve his life and the people around them; along the same line, he has provided c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 39, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... The question that often puzzles us is whether or not designing other parks for the bettermen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his simple question is yes, it matters. To commence, building more parks will pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 51, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'publics'' or 'public's'?
Suggestion: publics'; public's
...e, building more parks will provide the publics opportunity to relax their minds and al...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 201, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...condition will improve. To be specific, all of the individuals of every family work long h...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , /
...him. There was only one park in the city,/the park was the only one in the city, a...
^^
Line 6, column 1509, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...mmunity, my father would choose the one thats more peaceful with fewer people, and he...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re parks should be designed in a city. Apart from what I mentioned above, addit...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 232, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help someone find' instead.
Suggestion: help someone find
...iends; as a result, such networking can help someone to find a job. More specifically, when people o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1072, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...employed as an individual of this town. To sum up, I firmly believe that if I ev...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, look, moreover, so, still, thus, apart from, for example, as a result, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 52.1666666667 155% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2862.0 1977.66487455 145% => OK
No of words: 611.0 407.700716846 150% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68412438625 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97176167858 4.48103885553 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5620759016 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 317.0 212.727598566 149% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518821603928 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 890.1 618.680645161 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.7389966205 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.0 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6296296296 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.37037037037 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168177096279 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0421819013902 0.076458572812 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0369891848429 0.0737576698707 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0870468787805 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0367398156609 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.