The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graphs shows the cinema attendance by different age groups at least once a year in Australia between 1990 and 2010.
From 1990 to 2010, the number of people between 50 and more years old attending cinema increased gradually and it had the highest percentage than other groups in Australia. The rate was from 90% to about 98%. Compered with the percentage of between 14 and 24 years old had the lowest percentage than other. The percentage doubled dramatically between 40% and 60%.
On the other hand, from 1990 to 2010, the percentage of inhabitants in Australia who having 35-49 years old rose dramatically between 60% and about 85%. Otherwise, the percentage of 25-34 years old also increased dramatically but just until 2006, it was from 60% to 80%, than the percentage declined until the end of the year. It was about 72%.
In conclusion, cinema attendance by 35 and more years old were higher than 34 and under years old.
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Sentence: On the other hand, from 1990 to 2010, the percentage of inhabitants in Australia who having 35-49 years old rose dramatically between 60 and about 85.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to who and having
flaws:
We didn't get the picture after reading your essay.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 162 200
No. of Characters: 746 1000
No. of Different Words: 82 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.568 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.605 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.614 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 43 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 32 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 25 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.08 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.465 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.679 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4