"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
The author concludes that the interview-centered method for finding out the actual child-rearing traditions is right than the previously performed method by Dr. Field. However, as it stands now, the conclusion of the author relies on the three unwarranted assumptions that diminish the credibility of the argument.
First of all, the author assumes that the children who were observed by Dr. Field twenty years earlier and those being interviewed now are still the same. Perhaps the children twenty years ago might have been all grown up now and they may have migrated to different places. The overall scenario of the place and the rearing tradition which was held many years ago might have been changed. For example, those children have grown up and given birth to their offspring. They may believe in a nuclear family and choose to care for their children more critically than before. There might be a case where the author might be interviewing those children who live with their parents in a nuclear family. If the above scenario proves true, then the author's argument does not hold water.
Second of all, the author assumes that the people interviewed were representative of the actual population of Tertia, but this might not be the case. The child-rearing traditions in the other parts of the island and Tertia might be different. The other parts of the island may be more developed and there may be a huge migration of people seeking employment or higher education. The communities might be busy on their own works for earning their living in cities areas and thus their children talk more about their biological parents, but this doesn't happen in the village of Tertia. For instance, the major proportion of people interviewed might be from the nearby developed city area of the island to the village community of Tertia. Perhaps, out of 100 people interviewed only two were the representative from the Tertia, and thereby the result might be faulty. If it is true that the total number of people interviewed were only a few (only two) from Tertia, then the author’s contention is considerably hampered.
Furthermore, the author assumes that his method is best and the Dr. Fields observation-based study was invalid. This assumption greatly relies on the scientific and empirical validity of the method applied. Perhaps the survey conducted in the parts of the Island including Tertia was not carried out scientifically owing to the incompetence of the staff involved. For example, the interview was taken in a biased way reaching out to the people who are accessible more easily based on the purposive method of sampling. Additionally, there could be a case where the examiner is not sincere and have himself manipulated the data based on the first few interviews of the people around the other parts of the island and thus, not include the real information of the child-rearing cultures prevailing in the Tertia. If the above two scenarios tend to be true, then the persuasiveness of the author’s argument is seriously weakened.
In conclusion, the author may be correct in concluding that the study made twenty years ago by Dr. F was invalid. However, as it stands now, his inference rest on three unwarranted assumptions that dramatically hinder its validity. If the author would like to increase the credibility of his argument, he needs to put light on the three cases presented above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 566 350
No. of Characters: 2785 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.878 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.64 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.37 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 741, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...he above scenario proves true, then the authors argument does not hold water. Second...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 380, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...seeking employment or higher education. The communities might be busy on their own ...
^^^
Line 5, column 545, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...bout their biological parents, but this doesnt happen in the village of Tertia. For in...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 402, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a biased way" with adverb for "biased"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...d. For example, the interview was taken in a biased way reaching out to the people who are acce...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, still, then, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2852.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 565.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04778761062 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87542086881 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83931209329 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438938053097 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 874.8 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.7153180955 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.08 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261506156802 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0778198451784 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0545006447345 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137508787407 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480052952604 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.