Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Parents are always eager to see their children behave well and get high grades in school. In order to achieve this, some parents would give their children money when children get high marks. However, I do not think it is a good idea. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, giving young students money for their high grades will make them confused with the actual aim of studying well. In fact, people who attend schools should be aimed at learning knowledge and skills which will be used in their life. That is to say, students should pursue high grades to obtain knowledge more completely and comprehensively. However, the money given by their parents will exert adverse effect on them as they might think that money is the final goal. This misunderstanding could lead to some unwanted consequences. Take my little cousin Tom as an example. His father, i.e. my uncle, awarded Tom 20 dollars every time he got an A in the examination, assuming that Tom would be inspired and be more hard-working. Nevertheless, things were not the same as my uncle imagined. With the desire of money, Tom began to learn cheating in the examination as he knew that he would get the money whenever he got the A grade. Unfortunately, he was caught by the teacher during a final exam, which drove my uncle really mad. Tom\'s experience, I believe, is not the sole example. Youngsters will probably be misled by the money and go astray.
Furthermore, if children were always treated like this, they are likely to become money-oriented, which will do harm to their future. In other words, if they were not granted money for doing certain things, they will just refuse to begin. It can also be reflected by Tom\'s experience. After the cheating, my uncle stopped offering Tom money for anything, which made Tom lose all his energy. As a result, whatever his parents asked him to do, he just refused quickly without any consideration. He told me privately that he was not interested in anything but money. You see, this is the consequence of granting money to children for their own responsiblities.
In a nutshell, with these two reasons above, I strongly believe that this is not a proper way for encouraging children to study.
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| 2023-06-27 | YasamanEsml | 76 | view |
| 2023-03-16 | sonyeoso | 76 | view |
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| 2023-01-04 | minammah | 70 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 653, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'an' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: an; A
...warded Tom 20 dollars every time he got an A in the examination, assuming that Tom w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 846, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to cheat'.
Suggestion: to cheat
...the desire of money, Tom began to learn cheating in the examination as he knew that he w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 929, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: the; A
... he would get the money whenever he got the A grade. Unfortunately, he was caught by ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, nevertheless, really, so, well, i feel, in fact, as a result, in other words, to begin with, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1874.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76844783715 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69577234235 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549618320611 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 572.4 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.3386754607 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.0833333333 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.375 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309558865437 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0882688947228 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081054927511 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211482424039 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108788018559 0.0645574589148 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.52 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.