The following appeared in a recommendation from the planning department of the city of Transopolis.
"Ten years ago, as part of a comprehensive urban renewal program, the city of Transopolis adapted for industrial use a large area of severely substandard housing near the freeway. Subsequently, several factories were constructed there, crime rates in the area declined, and property tax revenues for the entire city increased. To further revitalize the city, we should now take similar action in a declining residential area on the opposite side of the city. Since some houses and apartments in existing nearby neighborhoods are currently unoccupied, alternate housing for those displaced by this action will be readily available."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
This expert from the planning department of the city of Transopilis contains the recommendation to convert a residential area outside the city to an industrial area. Although this recommendation seems plausible based on the fact that it yield significant results years ago, certain evidences have to be provided so the evidence can be properly evaluated. The result of this evaluation would determine if the recommendation would be accepted by the city council.
The recommendation assumes that the constructed factories where responsible for the decline in crime rate and increased tax revenue based on the claim that these effects were observes after. A major evidence to be provided is that there is a correlation between the decrease in crime rate, increased tax revenue and the industrialization of the freeway. The outcome at the time may have serendipitous or due to an unconsidered factor such as improved security or better economic policies which were available then. The failure to provide a causal-effect link between these effect implies that this recommendation would not yield the same effects now. This weakens the argument upon which the recommendation is based.
Furthermore the argument bases it premise on a program which was carried out 10years ago. There is no assurance that economic forces which were at play then are still applicable today. The city is certain to have undergone various degrees of changes in the last few years; the residents would have change; changes the market forces; changes in the nature working policies of factories; changes in the security levels in the city. As such there should be an evidence to show that the Transopilis city 10 years ago is the same Transopilis city today. Otherwise there is no assurance that the recommendations would yield the same result, it may even yield the opposite of the past outcomes.
Also, the recommendation also assumes that the location chosen for the urban planning program does not affect the outcome of the recommendation. The area used 10 years ago was located in the freeway mostly like at the centre or the city. This could be responsible for the positive outcome of the past industrialization outcome. A change in location is certain to affect the outcome of the recommendation. E.g., the new location is outside the city, evidence should be provided which assures that factories would be interested in a location outside the factory. This would determine the possibility of industries being constructed there.
In conclusion, the recommendation is entire built on the premise that this new recommendation would provide the same result as the past program. However possible this is, the major evidence to be provided has to show the reproducibility of the program. Failure to prove this voids the recommendation and argument on which it is based.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2344 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.096 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.073 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.255 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 106, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...esponsible for the decline in crime rate and increased tax revenue based on the c...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...on which the recommendation is based. Furthermore the argument bases it premise on a prog...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 35, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'premises'?
Suggestion: premises
...ed. Furthermore the argument bases it premise on a program which was carried out 10ye...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 431, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ges in the security levels in the city. As such there should be an evidence to sho...
^^
Line 3, column 550, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...ago is the same Transopilis city today. Otherwise there is no assurance that the recommen...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, e.g., furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, then, as to, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 31.0 16.3942115768 189% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2390.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 459.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20697167756 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09587513163 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.427015250545 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 773.1 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8096064081 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.636363636 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8636363636 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04545454545 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170287443686 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0579554113461 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0635620834638 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10699442795 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0551754525692 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.